Make SA books matter

Novelists and reviewers can shape the industry by producing work for mass appeal as well as the serious-minded, argues Chris Thurman.

The story so far:
A few years ago the books editor of a major South African newspaper — let’s dub her MI — called for more honesty from book reviewers, even if this resulted in “knife jobs”. She suggested that local literary people were being far too nice to one another (which, let’s be honest, they were; the only spats seemed to stem from personality clashes and cases of plagiarism).

Conversations about the rights and wrongs of book reviewing then shifted from the printed page to the infinite ether, as contributors to websites such as BookSA and LitNet — one character, FS, prominent among them — tucked into the meaty topic. This shift of medium is significant, as a key plot device in our story is the introduction of a deus ex machina known as Web 2.0.

More recently, the olde newspaper became the centre of attention once more as MI (again) and a brave duo, DA and PZ (initials that should be familiar to readers of these pages), told South African authors and publishers they should expect less fêting, petting and mollycoddling because, for the most part, they spend too much time nattering online or ­promoting themselves and not enough time producing books of real substance.

Cue renewed discussion and protestation — most of it online. By the time you read this, a certain JR will have weighed in, provoking further responses.
Confused? Well, there’s good news and there’s bad news. The good news is you don’t have to trawl the internet (as I have) to try to catch up on the intricacies of a narrative and list of protagonists that make the most convoluted 19th-century novel seem straightforward. What it all boils down to is the question: how do we make South African books matter?

To some, this means making books matter as much as movies, TV shows and popular music matter: producing work that appeals to the public eye, that entertains. To others, it means making books matter to serious-minded, erudite readers of the present and the future: producing texts that, in years to come, people will call “classics”.

Then there are those, myself included, who optimistically hope that both of these ends can be achieved. This, after all, is what writers have been claiming in defence of their art for millennia now. The ancient Roman poet Horace wrote that literature could be both utile et dulce (useful and sweet, or pleasurable); 16 centuries later Philip Sidney went further and enjoined his fellow-writers to “teach and delight”. It’s a formulation that has been echoed innumerable times.

The debate
And that, I’m afraid, is the bad news: the brief history I sketched at the start of this article is really just the latest instalment in a much, much longer story. Suffice to say the debate has been going on for some time. It’s a debate that, if you’re involved in the “square dance” described by Jane Rosenthal (writing, publishing, reading and reviewing South African literature), is of vital importance. If you’re a dispassionate observer and couldn’t give a hoot whose names are represented by those initials I used earlier, the whole matter seems rather inconsequential.

In many ways the debate is about getting people to care about the debate. How do we get South Africans interested in books? By producing books of higher “quality” (a loaded term), or producing books that appeal to a wider market? This summary is inevitably an over-simplification — so let’s look at some of the terms of the debate more carefully.

CONTINUES BELOW

Firstly, we can certainly affirm that the South African literary scene is better off now than it was for most of the past century. Yes, we have the awkward and ever-so-slightly incestuous phenomenon of writers who are also reviewers and publishing consultants and so on — this is common enough worldwide and always has been — but at least we’re not in the situation faced by people such as Guy Butler who, as late as the 1970s, had to write critical summaries of his own work when producing surveys of contemporary writers because hardly anybody else was doing so.

Second, although it’s important to try to take the temperature of local literature (to check on its health, as it were), the fact is that so much material has been produced in the past 10 years or so no individual could really claim to know “what’s out there”.

I agree with Darryl Accone that plenty of books have been published that shouldn’t have been — in fact, I’d go further than his proposition, “Too many books that could have been contenders” (criticising the editing process) and say instead that there are too many books that should never have even been considered as contenders (criticising the priorities publishers settle on in giving shape to their lists). But in among the chaff, the grains of wheat are plentiful; some of these I have been fortunate enough to read, most of them I’m sure I haven’t… yet.

So I’m reluctant to concur with Percy Zvomuya in generalising about the shortcomings of the generation(s) of writers following in the footsteps of Achebe, Coetzee et al. If Things Fall Apart and Dusklands came fresh off the presses today, I dare say it might be some time before anyone noticed them.

We tend to confer the title “great writer” on authors only once they are 10 books or three decades into their careers. Or when they’re dead — then they are posthumously venerated, partly out of a romantic celebration of the idea of the struggling but determined writer. Here, I think, Fiona Snyckers and others have been right to challenge the (internet-less) “writer in the garret” stereotype, even if there is a case to be made that writing must be a fundamentally solitary experience.

Cultural authorities
Third, we have the accusation that reviewers and the editors of books pages are setting themselves up as cultural authorities. Names such as FR Leavis are invoked with disdain, recalling those “men of letters” who assumed to tell others what was worth reading and what was not. This is a slightly unfair caricature; Leavis got lots wrong, but he was trying to justify literary study in the face of a positivist onslaught that privileged the pure and social sciences over the arts.

There is, it seems, a general dislike of those latter-day institutional men and women of letters: university-based academics. Literary scholarship is often denigrated for its obscure jargon and highfalutin style. But a scholarly approach to contemporary writing rarely entails passing judgment, labelling a book “good” or “bad”.

Rather, academics are interested in literary phenomena — for instance, the proliferation of so-called genre fiction, or the underlying causes of the creed that books should delight but not teach — and, when they pay close attention to a text, their question is not “Does this work?” but rather “How does this work?” Rosenthal has alluded to the problem of limited space for newspaper reviews; it’s worth noting that literary journal articles number in the thousands, not hundreds, of words. Online journals have potentially limitless space.

Finally, then, we have the issue of actual reviewing practices. Valuable reviews describe both a subjective and an “objective” reading experience; this results in some evaluation, but more important are contextualisation (what has gone into the text) and extrapolation (what it all means in the world beyond the text). A thumbs-up or thumbs-down approach, mere recommendation or condemnation, is inadequate.

Certainly, book reviews should be performances in themselves — but they must engage primarily and in good faith with the work(s) in question. We need to develop a discourse, an analytical vocabulary, to facilitate criticism that does not offend. South Africa’s reviewers must heed Maureen Isaacson’s call to undertake “knife jobs”, but these should be more like textual dissections or investigative surgeries than literary assassinations. No critic should be licensed to kill.

Chris Thurman teaches at Wits University. And yes, he is on Twitter (@ChrisThurmanZA).

On the edge

IN the window of Ware Bros Cutlery “The Knife Shop” in Hobart’s Elizabeth St, is a mannequin of a man endlessly applying a knife to a grinding wheel.

In the back The Knife Shop, Gerry Hopkins is at work, looking pretty much like the model in the window – the only difference is that his grinding wheel is powered by electricity instead of a foot pedal.

It is one of those old skills that has not been improved upon for years and is not likely to be superseded by technology.

In anything you have ever read in which chefs are asked what is their favourite piece of equipment, most often a particular knife will be top choice. Heston Blumenthal likes a Tojiro, Neil Perry uses a Shun and at home Matt Moran goes Global.

Whatever your choice, it has to be kept sharp.

I was puzzled by a remark made in a cooking class last year by a surgeon. She refused to cut meat with the knife offered. “I’ll cut myself,” she said.

A surgeon, afraid of sharp knives? That wasn’t the problem. “It’s not sharp enough,” she said.

And that’s correct, you are more likely to hurt yourself applying excessive force with a blunt knife that can do you damage when it slips than with a knife that cuts through easily.

What you see the butcher doing – swiping a knife back and forth over a long steel – is not actually sharpening the knife, but honing it. It is the way to make sure an already sharp knife stay sharp.

It can go a long way though. Gerry’s wife Sue, says she will go seven years between having a knife professionally sharpened, but hones it with a diamond steel before each use.

As a knife is used, the edge of the blade can become wavy and will roll over in places. This kind of burr is honed out with a steel.

When I took two knives into the shop for sharpening recently, Sue asked me to show her how I honed the knife – and then proceeded to show me how to do it right.

Little grooves along the knife revealed I was using too much pressure. You can have a lesson at Ware Bros or watch a video online.

Either way, you will be told to hold the steel in your non-dominant hand and keep it still while you hold the knife at an angle of about 20 degrees to the steel and move the knife from its heel to its tip, along the steel starting at the tip of the steel and moving the knife to the heel. It’s easier to understand when you see it demonstrated.

Do this about four times on either side before using the knife. Sue did it with a light touch exerting hardly any pressure at all.

If you find that movement difficult you can put the point of the steel down on a non-slip surface and slide the knife along it from heel to tip.

Sue said it was worth investing in a good diamond steel (around $80) for best results.

As I said this is how to maintain an already sharp knife. Gerry does something similar in principle when sharpening the knives, but sharpening removes some metal to create a new edge – so keeping a knife well honed prolongs the life of the blade.

Traditionally, in Europe knives are sharpened at an angle of 23 degrees, Global and Japanese knives are sharpened at 15 degrees, but many chefs will ask for an angle of even less than that.

Boning or filleting knives are sharpened to be quite smooth so that they slide easily, but for general kitchen use you want an edge that is slightly roughened that will “grab” what it is cutting – a finish Gerry tests by drawing the knife over the tip of his thumb to feel the drag.

The knife is sharpened on a spinning stone wheel. Water sprays over it, because if there was no water the knife would “burn”, which would affect the temper (hardness) of the knife.

Gerry sharpens the knife until there is a burr – “If I do not see a burr I have not got to the edge” – and then polishes out the grind marks on a felt wheel. There might be final polish on a rag wheel.

The Wares of the shop’s name are Richard and Brenden, from whom the Hopkinses bought the shop in 2003, after they had moved here from Sydney to get away from humidity.

Gerry’s previous work had been in computer programming and Sue is an accountant. The Ware brothers worked with them for two months after they bought the business in July, and then they were on their own for the Christmas rush.

Knife sharpening is surprisingly seasonal. Before Christmas, not only are people coming in to buy knives, but it seems everyone wants knives sharpened before they tackle the ham and turkey. The high demand for sharpening services continues in the new year and tails off towards the end of February.

Gerry has taken to his new work.

“I am very fussy about how I do it,” he said. “We have not gone into key cutting or anything else; we stay with the sharp things.”

Every knife sharpened is different and a new challenge.

The harder the steel in a knife, the longer the edge will last, but it is more difficult to sharpen and very hard knives can be brittle.

Little chips can come out if the knife edge should the user be so foolhardy as to hack away at chicken bones with it, or chop on hard surfaces.

The hardness of a steel blade is measured by the Rockwell rating, that measures how much of an indentation is caused to the blade when a diamond-tipped probe is driven into it under pressure.

Very hard knives can easily chip. Gerry says Henckels and F Dick knives are the best compromise between hardness and relative ease of sharpening.

The darling knife of chefs at the moment is the Shun range from Japan that has won Neil Perry.

Gerry is also very taken with them. “I think they are beautiful, one of the best knives I have ever seen,” he said.

Shun knives contain very hard layers of steel sandwiched between softer layers of stainless-steel, that give the blade a wavy pattern, or damascus effect.

Look after sharp knives by never putting them in the dishwasher or storing them in a drawer – use a magnetic strip or knife block – and do not cut on glass or ceramic boards or steel benches.

If you give knives as a gift, the superstitious will give you a coin in return so that they have “purchased” the knife. In many cultures the gift of knives is seen as likely to sever the relationship between giver and receiver.

You might also add the message, as Ware Bros does to knife-care handouts: “Have a knife day”.

All of society should see higher wages

Barbara Yaffe is missing the point in her discussion of the Canadian wage situation. She advocates reducing civil-servant wages when we should be talking about raising everyone else’s wages.

Think of it like medicine. If only some people are getting a cure while others suffer, you don’t take the medicine away entirely so everyone is equally miserable. You do everything you can to make sure everybody gets the medicine.

We need to find ways for everyone to enjoy better wages and benefits. In some parts of the private sector, the wage cure is more unionization, while other parts will require different creative treatments.

I am a public servant who works hard to provide a service. I know my community values, but there are some months when my salary barely covers the bills. I’m definitely not eating with solid gold cutlery as Yaffe would have you believe.

Public or private sector, it is getting harder for most of us to get by, while a concentrated few in this country are getting very rich. With unions or other means, I believe it is time we support each other in efforts to inject wage improvements for us all.

Cate Samuel, Edmonton

Headed to Augusta for the Masters? Here’s what you should know

AUGUSTA, Ga. – If you want to go to the quietest place on Earth, where nothing buzzes, blips, beeps, or even bleats, then you’ll need a ticket to Augusta National Golf Club during the Masters Tournament.

Although the golf course may be popping with brilliant pink, fuchsia, and white of a bazillion azaleas and dogwoods and loud with lavender-hued wisteria, you’ll not hear a human sound in the few seconds just before the best golfers in the world tee off into the Georgia sunshine.

The quietness is unreal, even despite the fact that you’re surrounded by upwards of a hundred thousand fellow fans. No one dares even breathe, and the only sounds you might hear are of songbirds trilling away in the tall pines.

The number of fans is a guess, as Augusta National ain’t tellin’, no way, no how, the closely guarded secret of the true number of tickets sold. But if you’re among those savvy enough to score tickets to the Masters – the dates are April 4-9 – there are a few things you should know before you get to Augusta.

First of all, make certain that you get your badge through a legitimate source. Every year, the Masters turn away unsuspecting fans who have fallen victim to scam artists with fake tickets.

“That really happens, and you just have to be really careful when you get tickets,” says Barry White, president of the Augusta Convention Visitors Bureau.

Walking the hallowed grounds of Augusta National and following the likes of Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer is thrilling, no doubt, and with that many people you would think there would be complete chaos.

But that’s not the case, for the Masters crowds are among the most well-behaved you’ll ever see. And for good reason. There are rules are in place, and they are very, very, very (did I say very?) strict.

Take heed and leave all of your electronic gizmos in the car. If you are caught buzzing, blipping, beeping or bleating, you will be politely asked to leave and could be banned from the course forever.

Can you imagine that Phil Mickelson is about to putt for the win and your Aunt Maude decides to call with news about her arthritis? Neither Mickelson nor Augusta National would be amused.

And you can bring cameras, but only during the practice rounds and absolutely not during the series tournament.

You’ll pass through a metal detector at the entrance, which my husband and I didn’t know on our first foray to the Masters last year, and anything that resembles a weapon, like knives and nail clippers, will be confiscated. Quick as a wink, hubby’s Swiss army knife, a gift that I had bought for him in Switzerland, was gone with the wind.

“The reason the atmosphere of the Masters is just wonderful is that just about everyone complies with the rules,” says White.

Outside of the Masters, which dates to 1934 when legendary duffer Bobby Jones and Clifford Roberts came together to organize the event, the rest of Augusta is just as wonderful, too. This city of historic neighborhoods, Southern hospitality, and quiet (there’s that word again) beauty is worth exploring anytime.

Do take time to visit the Augusta Museum of History that offers a special exhibit called “Celebrating a Grand Tradition, the Sport of Golf” that takes you from the tee-box to Tiger Woods and everything in-between, including a green jacket or two.

Taney County sheriff defends deadly shooting – News

Witnesses said a fatal confrontation between the deputies and the man with the knife lasted only a couple of seconds.

A young Hollister man — knife in his left hand and later found to have methamphetamine in his system — lunged at a Taney County deputy, who defended himself with a Taser.

Partially deployed, it didn’t stop Charles Jordan Caughlan.

Another deputy, with gun drawn, fired a single lethal shot into the 20-year-old’s chest.

It was over.

More than 80 pages of documents released late last week by the Taney County Prosecutor’s office provide details of the Nov. 4 shooting of Caughlan, who was later determined to have toxic levels of meth in his system.

The documents include incident reports, witness accounts, photos of the crime scene, autopsy results and conclusions from a Missouri Highway Patrol investigation.

These documents were used by the prosecutor to rule the homicide justifiable.

But just after the shot was fired, a family member reportedly asked the deputy why Caughlan was shot in the chest and not the leg.

Asked about that report, Sheriff Jimmie Russell on Friday asked a question in response. “Why did he attack the deputies?”

“He chose to attack … with a deadly weapon. They did exactly as they had been trained to do.”

He added, “You aim to stop them.”

Nov. 4

Caughlan’s father, Charles R. Caughlan, 48, told authorities that his son showed up on his doorstep at 131 Faithfull Lane in Hollister on the morning of the shooting.

The younger man asked to stay at his father’s home for a while. The elder agreed and then became suspicious when Caughlan immediately went to bed.

While he was sleeping, the father searched his son’s duffel bag.

Inside, he found a handgun and several syringes, according to the statements.

Charles R. Caughlan told authorities he took the handgun out of the bag and dropped it off at a nearby residence while on his way to work.

At about 5:30 p.m., the father returned from work to find his son upset that the handgun was gone and demanding he return it.

When his father refused, Charles J. Caughlan became angry and displayed a knife, according to the statements.

Charles R. Caughlan asked his son to leave, but he refused. Instead, he paced in the front yard continuing to demand his gun back.

“Acting crazy”

Charles R. Caughlan called 911 and said his son was “acting crazy.”

Deputy Sam Turner was the first on the scene at about 6:30 p.m.

Turner’s incident report said he arrived to see Charles J. Caughlan standing in the street, shirtless and with a knife.

Turner got out of his patrol car and drew his Taser, holding it behind his back.

Turner slowly approached a “very agitated” Charles J. Caughlan and tried to calm him down.

Turner’s report said Charles J. Caughlan’s brother and father were also on scene.

“You’re going to have to shoot me, because I’m going to kill you,” Charles J. Caughlan told Turner, according to the report.

A neighbor, later interviewed by the highway patrol, overheard Charles J. Caughlan tell the deputies, “Get away from me before I kill you.”

Deputy Michael Jessup arrived and saw Turner standing about 20 feet from the shirtless man.

Jessup said he heard yelling, but couldn’t make out what was said.

Jessup said he drew his Taser but when he got closer, he saw the knife.

Jessup then drew his Glock 9 mm pistol.

Turner said he continued to instruct Charles J. Caughlan to drop the knife, as did the distraught man’s father and brother.

Both deputies’ reports and all witness accounts said Charles J. Caughlan began walking toward the deputies.

Turner raised his Taser and ordered the approaching man to drop the knife.

When he didn’t stop, Turner tried the Taser.

A highway patrol investigator determined only one of the two barbs deployed by the Taser made contact, causing it to be ineffective.

Turner’s report said Charles J. Caughlan continued toward him and — as the knife-wielding man lowered his left shoulder to make a slashing motion — Jessup fired.

Charles J. Caughlan fell to the pavement.

The deputies said they recovered the knife and handcuffed the injured man.

Turner assisted EMT crews as they rendered aid.

Frustration

Charles J. Caughlan was taken to Skaggs Regional Medical Center in Branson, where he was pronounced dead at 7:23 p.m.

An autopsy showed the bullet entered near the left armpit and traveled across the torso, injuring a rib and the left lung.

It also showed the toxic drug levels.

Just after 9 p.m., the deceased man’s father was interviewed by the highway patrol.

The investigator said Charles R. Caughlan seemed frustrated by the actions of his son, the ineffectiveness of the Taser and the short time frame in which the deputies went from non-lethal to lethal force.

The investigator said the father stated he understood and “although hurt and upset, seemed to have a good grasp on the situation.”

Charles R. Caughlan could not be reached for comment.

“We always hope something like this never has to happen,” said Sheriff Russell.

The deputies “had to do it,” he added.

Military no longer protected from budget knife

The February 16 House vote to cut funding for an F-35 alternative engine over Speaker John Boehner’s objections was hailed for the unlikely political federation it convened between Democrats leery of expanded defense spending and Republicans leery of, well, spending.

But the larger implication of the 233-198 vote is that it hints at the existence of something that arises only infrequently in Washington: an appetite to reduce the defense budget. Even though the continuing resolution vote only excised $450 million, it bespoke a potential glimmer of cooperation between the parties in a politically dangerous pocket of the largely bipartisan consensus over fiscal restraint.

Cutting Pentagon spending, an uncertain undertaking in even comparatively harmonious Congresses, is made even more so by the historic polarization in today’s. Consider that, according to National Journal’s 2010 vote ratings, the Senate Armed Services Committee chairman, Sen. Carl Levin, D-Mich., ties as the chamber’s most liberal member. Its ranking minority member, Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., slots with seven others as its most conservative.

The chasm is slimmer in the House, where the Armed Services Committee is chaired by Rep. Buck McKeon, R-Calif., tied as the eighth-most conservative House chairman. Its ranking Democrat is Rep. Adam Smith, D-Wash., who qualifies as a centrist and one of the party’s most conservative ranking members.

In the decade after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, for reasons both cravenly political and simply practical, military and national security accounts were held safe from whatever paring budget knives did exist, resulting in almost a doubling of the Pentagon’s base budget. Now, the political climes have again blended with obligations and initiatives abroad, this time in the opposite direction.

For fiscal 2012, President Obama has prescribed $553 billion for defense spending outside the Iraq and Afghanistan war budgets, $13 billion below projections, a signal that the expansion has slowed. And Defense Secretary Robert Gates’s blueprint for controlling health care costs, including incrementally boosting health care enrollment for troops and families, has met with some openness among House Republicans.

House GOP leadership aides say the totality of the spending reduction appetite overrides the party’s traditional insistence on preserving the robustness of the Pentagon’s budget. Defense cuts will not come as a first choice, though, they said. And, ultimately, whatever reductions are made won’t delve as deeply as they do in other accounts. But, they acknowledge, broader budget disagreements between the House and Senate could throw up roadblocks to decisions on the Pentagon’s checkbook.

If the cuts consensus does take hold of the Pentagon, it would mark the third such easing of growth in the last several decades, the post-conflict peace dividends. After its post-Korea atrophy, the defense budget swelled during the Vietnam era, topping out at 9 percent of GDP in 1967 and 1968, according to a Center for Strategic and Budgetary Assessments analysis. Those reductions were fueled by a transition to a smaller, all-volunteer force. During the presidency of Ronald Reagan, as the United States sought to break the Soviet Union, the spending buildup resumed; in 1985 it reached $538 billion in 2011 dollars and 7.1 percent of GDP. It went into a steady decline again, a 15-year comedown that bottomed out at 3.1 percent of GDP in both 1998 and 2000, before the recent upward trend to 4.9 percent of GDP. These latter expansions in the base budget are the ones Gates and others have labeled unsustainable.

Some analysts say the reductions can’t come quickly or deeply enough.

“We have huge, fundamental problems that we’re not facing and even though Gates has done some laudable things, but he’s just picking at the edge of the paint here,” said Winslow Wheeler, director of the Straus Military Reform Project at the Center for Defense Information.

“The things he’s talking about do not address these fundamental problems,” Wheeler said. “We are still nowhere in addressing either the budget deficit problem or the broader defense problem, and the two are connected … People measure defense by its cost, which is one of the reasons we have the disaster on our hands on our size.”

Gordon Adams, associate Office of Management and Budget director for national security under President Bill Clinton and now a professor at American University’s School of International Studies and a fellow at the Stimson Center, said even the cuts projected through 2015 represent “child’s play.” He said the defense budget had reached an “inflection point” that mandated more fundamental action.

“You can do this,” Adams told National Journal Daily. “We’ve done it before, we’ll do it again.”

But while military spending, in total dollars, has never been this high, neither has Congress been so polarized in the modern era. With the political center having essentially vanished, the path to a reduction pact appears rockier.

It could be even more difficult because, some analysts said, the weightiest factors in the recent base budget growth have been personnel-related costs, including pay increases above the employment cost index and Congress’s approval of both expanded and new benefits. With the recent influx of veterans from the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, that cost share has grown increasingly unwieldy, as health care accounts for about 9 percent of defense spending, roughly $53 billion per year.

Todd Harrison, a senior fellow in defense budget studies at the Center for Strategic and Budgetary Assessments, called the proposed $5 per month bump in premiums for working-age military retirees, to $520 for families, “pretty modest” but likely to further curb Pentagon costs by encouraging veterans to access health care through their current employers.

While the F-35 cut signaled some willingness to confront defense costs, the more treacherous exercise of pulling back on troop and veterans’ benefits meets with far less enthusiasm on Capitol Hill, likely a firewall against a more drastic fiscal disarmament. “They seem to be in flux about it,” said Wheeler.

“Some of them take seriously that defense is on the table. Some of them seem to sort of skate around it saying, ‘Defense is on the table, let’s take out that one military band in Hawaii, but make sure it’s not in my state, thank you very much.’ We’re about to see a sorting exercise, where the true hawks are separated from the phonies.”

The Oscars 2011

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So here we go again – Hollywood’s annual schmooze fest is
here.

Oh, and one thing – forget the King’s Speech, Fighter debate -
or the Social Network Facebook film, the major Oscar has to go to
Anna Murray for her final ever (sniff) red carpet coverage. Check
out the gems of claws/nails out
commentary from the Oscars red carpet
here.

Talking of the RC, I asked the boss for a chance to go there
for work – but Tim Wilson beat me to it.
Follow Tim Wilson as he Tweets from the Oscars
here.

5.38pm - That’s a wrap as a choir of
school kids sing us out with Somewhere the Rainbow.  A
memorable Oscars? Not really – not enough moments stood out from
the crowd (Kirk Douglas and Melissa f***ing Leo being the
exceptions) and the hosts, while genial were a little flat as
well.

Still, as the King’s Speech celebrates another week atop the NZ Box
Office, methinks the Royal Reign will continue for a while
longer….

To recap

Oscar for Best Picture – The King’s Speech

Best actor – Colin Firth

Best actress – Natalie Portman

Best Supporting actress – Melissa “F***ing” Leo

Best Supporting Actor – Christian Bale

Best director – Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech

Oscar for art direction – Alice in Wonderland;

Oscar for cinematography – Wally Pfister for Inception;

Best animated short – The Lost Thing

Best animated film – Toy Story 3

Best adapted screenplay – Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

Best original screenplay – The King’s Speech

Best Supporting Actor – Christian Bale

Best Foreign Film – In A Better World

Best Original score – Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for the Social
Network

Best Oscar for Sound mixing  – Inception

Best sound editing – Inception

Best Make up – The Wolfman

Best Costume Design – Colleen Atwood, Alice In Wonderland

Best documentary short subject – Strangers No More

Best documentary feature – Inside Job

Best editing – The Social Network

Best Visual Effects – Inception

Best original song – Randy Newman, Toy Story 3

References to Melissa Leo’s F Bomb during acceptance
speech – Stagnant at Four (and unlikely to increase)

5.32pm – Mr Spielberg heads to the stage. He
then lists the illustrious films which missed out as well – Grapes
of Wrath being among them. The nearly winners which are still
always remembered for the right reasons. It’s a good touch to
remind them that they’re all winners as the montage of clips from
all the films play with Colin Firth’s final regal wartime speech
from The King’s Speech.

But there can be only one – and the
Oscar for Best Picture
goes to (drum roll)
The King’s Speech.
That means it’s taken four of its 12 nominations this year and The
Social Network heads to the almost ran. “Tom Hooper you put so much
passion into every shot of this film.” The crew heads to the stage
to thank them all – “It’s been a huge privilege to be part of a
film which touched so many people around the world.” Ironic this
was one of the last films made by the UK Film council before it
went under.

5.31pm – So we’re at the end. Steven Spielberg to
present the Best picture. Nominees are as follows: Black Swan, The
Fighter, Inception, The Kids Are All Right, The King’s Speech, 127
Hours, The Social Network,    Toy Story 3, True Grit
and Winter’s Bone. And the winner is….in my view, The King’s
Speech. A regal sweep is waiting methinks.

5.27pm – One award to go

 To recap

Oscar for art direction – Alice in Wonderland;

Oscar for cinematography – Wally Pfister for Inception;

Best Supporting actress – Melissa “F***ing” Leo,

Best animated short – The Lost Thing

Best animated film – Toy Story 3

Best adapted screenplay – Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

Best original screenplay – The King’s Speech

Best Supporting Actor – Christian Bale

Best Foreign Film – In A Better World

Best Original score – Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for the Social
Network

Best Oscar for Sound mixing  – Inception

Best sound editing – Inception

Best Make up – The Wolfman

Best Costume Design – Colleen Atwood, Alice In Wonderland

Best documentary short subject – Strangers No More

Best documentary feature – Inside Job

Best editing – The Social Network

Best Visual Effects – Inception

Best original song – Randy Newman, Toy Story 3

Best director – Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech

Best actor – Colin Firth

Best actress – Natalie Portman

References to Melissa Leo’s F Bomb during acceptance
speech – Stagnant at Four (and unlikely to increase)

5.25pm – “I have a feeling my career’s just peaked. My deepest
thanks to the Academy. I’m experiencing stirrings in the upper
abdominals which are threatening to form themselves into dance
moves. Joyous as it would be for me, it would be problematic
if they made it to my legs before I got off stage.” Colin does
self effacing well before paying tribute to Geoffrey Rush and
Helena Bonham Carter. He’s looking earnest now as he thanks David
Seidler - it’s a very dry, sensitive speech and one which
is respectful – as he injects a bit of humour in by thanking Harvey
for “taking me on when I was a mere child star”. “Now if you’ll
excuse me I have some impulses I have to attend to backstage.” He
means dancing, right?

5.25pm –
Best actor nominees
are (cue drum roll) Javier Bardem – Biutiful, Jeff Bridges – True
Grit, Jesse Eisenberg – The Social Network, Colin Firth – The
King’s Speech and James Franco – 127 Hours. And the
Oscar
goes to Colin Firth. What a s-s-s-surprise.

5.19pm - “This is special moment for me” Anne
says – before fluffing her lines and introducing Sandra Bullock.
“Ola” - Sandra flirts with Javier Bardem; Jeff Bridges
“won this award last year – wouldn’t it be nice if you gave someone
else a chance this year” Sandra finally injects a bit of humour
into the proceedings. “Jesse I’m still waiting for you to accept my
friend request on Facebook – you’ve inspired men hunched over their
keyboards” – Jesse Eisenberg looks on like he’s stepped in
something brown and stinky. He’s too serious. “Colin, Colin – right
here” – Sandra teases – “I hear the Queen liked this – which is
good because you plan going home at some point don’t you?” and
James Franco, your Oscar co-host. “Oh you’re back there – hey.”
Sandra Bullock says “you are the number one reason children are
late being picked up from school because of your work on (US Soap)
General Hospital.”

5.17pm – Natalie Portman thanks the Academy
“This is insane” she decrees before telling fellow nominees
she’s in “awe of you”. Her voice is wavering and here are the
tears. Can I say hormones? Or emotion? She thanks her agents and
people who help her to work – and “everyone who’s ever hired me”.
It’s not an inspiring speech but it’s from the heart I guess. The
band doesn’t seem to be playing her off yet. “There are people on
films that no-one ever talks about – your heart and soul every day”
before paying tribute to the make up, costumes and AD, camera
operators “you gave me all of my energy.” Finally she thanks her
family and friends.

5.15pm – Best actress Oscar goes to Natalie
Portman.

5.10pm - We’re into the final stretch – please
let it be so. Jeff Bridges heads to the stage to present the

Best actress nominees. They are – Annette
Bening – The Kids Are All Right, Nicole Kidman – Rabbit Hole,
Jennifer Lawrence – Winter’s Bone, Natalie Portman – Black Swan and
Michelle Williams – Blue Valentine. Bridges pays tribute to each
one of them while playing clips from their respective films. Nicole
Kidman is sat in front of Andrew Garfield and Helen Mirren – just
thought you’d like to know. Natalie’s the favourite here though but
Jennifer Lawrence or Michelle Williams could be the upset in
this category.

5.08pm –
To recap

Oscar for art direction – Alice in Wonderland;

Oscar for cinematography – Wally Pfister for Inception;

Best Supporting actress – Melissa “F***ing” Leo,

Best animated short – The Lost Thing 

Best animated film – Toy Story 3

Best adapted screenplay – Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

Best original screenplay – The King’s Speech

Best Supporting Actor – Christian Bale

Best Foreign Film – In A Better World

Best Original score – Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for the Social
Network

Best Oscar for Sound mixing  – Inception

Best sound editing – Inception

Best Make up – The Wolfman

Best Costume Design – Colleen Atwood, Alice In
Wonderland 

Best documentary short subject – Strangers No More

Best documentary feature – Inside Job

Best editing – The Social Network

Best Visual Effects – Inception

Best original song – Randy Newman, Toy Story 3

Best director – Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech




References to Melissa Leo’s F Bomb during acceptance speech -
Stagnant at Four.  (Patience – though there’s still
time)

5.05pm – Annette Bening, a nominee herself is
headed to the stage to show highlights of the Governor’s Awards and
then invites Kevin Brownlow, Eli Wallach and Francis Ford Coppolla
to the stage to have the auditorium pay tribute. And they do – by
standing and clapping. Eli Wallach is quite the adorable old man
and listening to him speak before the ceremony, he was classy,
funny and humble – a rare trait in Hollywood.

5.03pm - “Wow, this is extraordinary.” Tom
Hooper on what’s possibly Oscar’s upset given conventional belief
was it was going to Fincher – but he thanks “the triangle of man
love” referring to Firth and Rush – and David Seidler “Whose
journey to the Kodak Theatre is profoundly moving.” Hooper then
thanks his mother who went to a play reading of the King’s Speech -
and revealed to Tom “I think I’ve found your next film.” There’s
the classy moment – “With this I honour you – and the moral of the
story is – Listen to your mother.”

5pm - Anne Hathaway leads thanks to Celine and
Halle for the In Memoriam. Then on saunters Hilary Swank to help
hand out the Best director award. Along with Kathyrn Bigelow.

Best director nominees – Darren Aronofsky – Black
Swan, David O. Russell – The Fighter, Tom Hooper – The King’s
Speech, David Fincher – The Social Network and Joel Coen and Ethan
Coen – True Grit.
The winner is….
Tom
Hooper, The King’s Speech. Is it too late for me to change
my picks??

4.58pm – So we have four big ones left and
here’s my picks – Director: David Fincher; Actor – Colin Firth;
Actress Natalie Portman and Film – I’d like the King’s Speech to
take it, but think it’s heading to The Social Network (which would
lead to an influx of “ironic” ie unoriginal posts on FB itself)

4.57pm – Tim Wilson tweets – “Consensus among
the hacks in the trailer in the live truck compound… This is a
mess. Everything matches, nothing fits.” tvnz.co.nz blogger Darren
nods. And talks in the third person – a sign perhaps Oscar fatigue
is setting in.

4.51pm – As the orchestra fires into life,
Celine Dion sings to the In Memoriam section - John Barry,
Tony Curits, Edward Limato, Tom Mankiewicz, gloria Stuart, William
Fraker, Joseph Strick, Lionel Jeffries, Sally Menke, Ronni Chasen,
Leslie Nielsen, Robert Radnitz, Claude Chabrol, Pete Postelthwaite,
Piere Guffroy, Patricia Neal, George Hickenlooper, Robert Culp, Bob
Boyle, Mario Monicelli, Lynn Redgrave, Elliott Kastner, Dede Allen,
Peter Yaters, Anne Francis, Arthur Penn, Theonie Aldedge, Susannah
York, Ronald Neame, David Wolper, Jill Clayburgh, Alan Hume, Irvin
Kershner, Dennis Hopper, Dino de Laurentiis, Blake Edwards, Kevin
McCarthy – we salute you all for the work you’ve done. A tribute
follows to Lena Horne from Halle Berry.

4.45pm – After all the warbling, the

Oscar nominees for best original song are Coming
Home from Country Strong; music and lyric by Tom Douglas, Troy
Verges and Hillary Lindsey, I See the Light from Tangled; music by
Alan Menken; Lyric by Glenn Slater, If I Rise from 127 Hours; music
by A.R. Rahman; lyric by Dido and Rollo Armstrong and  We
Belong Together from Toy Story 3; music and lyric by Randy Newman.

The winner is Randy Newman for his Toy Story
number – “I’m very grateful and surprised” he says. “I’ve been
nominated 20 times and only won twice.” Does gracious mean
anything? He’s self effacing – and says “he wants to be good TV” -
before slating the Academy for only nominating 4 songs when others
have 5. He won’t win again, methinks. Coming soon In Memoriam and
Halle Berry. Those two aren’t related by the way – I don’t want any
of those rumours starting here and now.

4.42pm – Jennifer Hudson introduces A R Rahman
in. A. Very. Staccato. Tone. Honestly, there’s wood with more life
under my house. Florence from Florence and the Machine sings along.
And then Gwyneth Paltrow sings her song from Country Song. A
certain colleague wanders past, stops, hangs over the desk and
reveals “I’ve always quite liked Gwyneth.” And then stops at my
desk, swooning. I swear there’s actual drool on my keypad now
from his dribbling and fawning. She looks earnest as she sings.

4.40pm – “Winter’s Bone, Rabbit Hole – I’m
offended at some of the titles of the films this year. How To Train
Your Dragon – that’s disgusting” says James Franco. Anne titters
like a five year old.

4.38pm – Still time to grab some Oscar swag -
details at the bottom of this page. Comps close at 6pm and Judge’s
decision is final.

4.36pm – To recap

Oscar for art direction – Alice in Wonderland;

Oscar for cinematography – Wally Pfister for Inception;

Best Supporting actress – Melissa “F***ing” Leo,

Best animated short – The Lost Thing 

Best animated film – Toy Story 3

Best adapted screenplay – Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

Best original screenplay – The King’s Speech

Best Supporting Actor – Christian Bale

Best Foreign Film – In A Better World

Best Original score – Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for the Social
Network

Best Oscar for Sound mixing  – Inception

Best sound editing – Inception

Best Make up – The Wolfman

Best Costume Design – Colleen Atwood, Alice In
Wonderland 

Best documentary short subject – Strangers No More

Best documentary feature – Inside Job

Best editing – The Social Network

Best Visual Effects – Inception

References to Melissa Leo’s F Bomb during acceptance
speech – Stagnant at Four.

4.34pm – The duo stay on for the
Oscar
nominees for best editing are Andrew Weisblum – Black
Swan, Pamela Martin – The Fighter, Tariq Anwar – The King’s Speech,
Jon Harris – 127 Hours and Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter – The Social
Network.
Winner is The Social Network. From the
team who won for Benjamin Button a few years back. I reckon that
makes about five awards to go.

4.29pm – Bob Hope (hologram from 1950s – and
very well done) – introducing Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson aka
Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law. They’re here to read the

Oscar nominees for Visual effects are -Ken
Ralston, David Schaub, Carey Villegas and Sean Phillips – Alice in
Wonderland, Tim Burke, John Richardson, Christian Manz and Nicolas
Aithadi – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1,Michael
Owens, Bryan Grill, Stephan Trojanski and Joe Farrell – Hereafter,
Paul Franklin, Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley and Peter Bebb -
Inception and Janek Sirrs, Ben Snow, Ged Wright and Daniel Sudick -
Iron Man 2.
The winner is….coming shortly after
Jude mocks Robert Downey Jr for his lewd behaviour off screen

.  A couple of momentary laughs

 The winner is Inception. Rightly so for
those amazing scenes of Joseph Gordon Levitt fighting in a
distorting corridor. The team sends thanks to crews around the
world.

4.26pm – To return back to the Kodak Theatre -
with Anne presenting “a very special surprise” (which we all know
of) as Billy Crystal is brought on – to a standing ovation. He’ll
show the newbies how to do it naturally methinks. “So, where was
I?” he announces before talking of the first television Oscars -
and paying tribute to Bob Hope, “a really sexy movie star”. Some of
these zingers are falling a little short – “I wanted to be like Bob
Hope so I bought land in the valley” (I paraphrased a bit there as
I missed it all from yawning) – apparently Bob flipped Billy off
during an offscreen moment too. If anyone’s free, I need some
coffee to revive me.

4.23pm – Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law are due
soon. As is a peek at the very first Oscars ceremony.
Hope it’s not as long as this one feels. 

4.18pm – Cue Oprah Winfrey looking classy to
give the Oscar for Outstanding documentary. The
Oscar
nominees for Documentary Feature are Banksy and Jaimie
D’Cruz – Exit through the Gift Shop; Josh Fox and Trish Adlesic -
Gasland, Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs – Inside Job, Tim
Hetherington and Sebastian – Junger Restrepo and Lucy Walker and
Angus Aynsley – Waste Land.
The winner is…Inside
Job – No need for Banksy to fear being unmasked here.
Charles Ferguson heads to the stage with a minor diatribe about how
no financial directors have gone to jail “and that’s wrong” since
the global meltdown. Cue applause.

4.17pm – It’s been the year of the musical
according to James Franco. Cue an odd dance mix montage from films
- Harry Potter’s Ron and Hermione get a remix Ball of Light – Toy
Story, Justin Timberlake remix from the Social Network – “He
doesn’t own a shirt” by Edward Cullen – a Twilight musical
mocking Jacob Black from Eclipse. Very cool moment. Now Anne is
sashaying on the stage making her dress shimmy. Bringing us down
slightly. Well, at least she’s having fun.

4.14pm – Tim Wilson tweets “Franco in drag/Kirk
Douglas/weird montages as apps – Dangerously lame oscars saved by
Melissa Leo F-bomb” He’s actually right- I’m losing the will to
live a little here. There’s been nothing memorable yet
- though I know the tear jerking moment is due soon with In
Memoriam 

4.12pm –
Oscar for Best Live Action
short – the winner is God Of Love. Luke Matheny director
with a major fro on the stage says “God I should have got a
haircut.” It gets a laugh. “Sasha Gordon you’re my dream come true”
elicits an awwww.

4.11pm – Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal to
introduce the Oscar for shorts
- Oscar for Best documentary
short subject goes to Strangers No More.

4.06pm – Is it me or is the show this year a
little flat? We’re around halfway through and it’s feeling a little
like a slog right now.  Biggest winners so far are Inception
with 3 awards, The Social Network and The Fighter with 2. Expect
that’s it for Inception now as we head into the big hitters.

4.01pm – A celebration of songs in movies – “As
Time Goes By” “8 Mile” “Beauty and the Beast” followed
by Kevin Spacey does a medley from Top Hat, before introducing
himself as “George Clooney” (cue muted laughter. Randy Newman
presents the Oscar nominated We Belong Together from Toy Story 3 -
next up Chuck aka Zachary Levi and Mandy Moore singing I See The
Light from Tangled. One of my colleagues has just said Randy
Newman’s playing the same song he’s been playing for years – I’m
ignoring him (even though he has a point) as my hero Zachary Levi
aka
Chuck is
on now. The stage goes red as the duet continues and finishes. And
then a break. With the promise of Jake Gyllenhaal and Oprah
Winfrey.

4.00pm – To recap

Oscar for art direction – Alice in Wonderland;

Oscar for cinematography – Wally Pfister for Inception;

Best Supporting actress – Melissa “F***ing” Leo,

Best animated short – The Lost Thing 

Best animated film – Toy Story 3

Best adapted screenplay – Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

Best original screenplay – The King’s Speech

Best Supporting Actor – Christian Bale

Best Foreign Film – In A Better World

Best Original score – Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for the Social
Network

Best Oscar for Sound mixing  - Inception

Best sound editing – Inception

Best Make up – The Wolfman

Best Costume Design – Colleen Atwood, Alice In
Wonderland

References to Melissa Leo’s F Bomb during acceptance
speech – Four.

3.58pm – Time for the
Oscar for Costume
Design – nominees are Colleen Atwood – Alice in
Wonderland, Antonella Cannarozzi – I Am Love, Jenny Beavan – The
King’s Speech, Sandy Powell – The Tempest and Mary Zophres – True
Grit,
The winner is
Colleen Atwood, Alice
in Wonderland. Anne Hathaway was in that – I know you
know, but I have to re-emphasise these things. Colleen thanks her
fellow nominees – “It’s great to be such a part of a great group of
people.”

3.54pm – Cate Blanchett is giving the award for
the
Best Make up – (Mentioning Lord of the Rings)
- “That’s gross” she says of Wolfman.
Rick Baker gets the
Academy award for the film, his seventh award and 12th
nomination. Rick “rocking a white ponytail on a black tux” Baker
thanks his wife before saying he’s shaking so much.

3.53pm – Marisa Tomei heads to the stage to
present a recap of Sci Tech Awards – 11 awards were handed out
“Congratulations, nerds” Jame Franco says. Nice Franco – we’re
geeks as well as nerds (PS On an unrelated note, It’s got to
be time for Chuck to hit the stage hasn’t it?)

3.52pm – Tim Wilson’s tweeted that the best
acceptance speech was David Seidler for the King’s Speech. See what
else he’s
tweeting about here.

3.48pm –
Nominees for Sound
Editing – Inception, Toy Story 3, Tron:Legacy (!!), True
Grit, Unstoppable –
the winner is Inception. That
makes Inception the biggest winner so far, netting three Awards.
Richard King, the guy collecting, thanks Christopher Nolan – who
was ignored by the Academy this time round. Must be bittersweet
seeing people from your production get nominated and get
awards when you’re in the cold. And so, to another ad
break. 

3.45pm – “I am six degrees of separation away
from the next two presenters – look it up on the internet” James
Franco intros Scarlett Johansson and Matthew McConaughey “The
sound” they intone as they give out the
Oscar for Sound
mixing. The winner is Inception. The team heads up and one
of their number pulls faces at people she knows in the audience. To
my eye, it seems a little rude but you know, I’ve not yet been up
on that stage. Still no further reference to the F bomb. But the
music plays them off.

3.42pm –
The Oscar nominees for
Original score are John Powell – How to Train Your Dragon,
Hans Zimmer – Inception, Alexandre Desplat – The King’s Speech,
A.R. Rahman – 127 Hours and Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross – The
Social Network. Applause in the auditorium for the Social Network’s
score.
The winner is — Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for
the Social Network. Trent says” This is really happening.
We were very proud to be part of this film. To be part of this
company is humbling and flattering” before thanking David
Fincher.

3.40pm – The pair introduce a Chaplin scene
showing how sound and pictures have evolved – quite the arty piece.
And the orchestra’s revealed playing the theme from Star Wars and
the hairs on my neck go up. It’s great how music transports you
back to the cinema – ET, Star Wars – all iconic themes and so
intrinsically linked with our memories.

3.39pm – Here’s Hugh and Nicole – I think as
Anne introduces them she’s had her sixth costume change.

3.38pm – Academy president Tom Sherak addresses
the amassed throng revealing ABC and the Oscars have “just renewed
our vows.” Through to 2020.

3.37pm – So is the show this year working? One
hour in and only a couple of memorable moments – the hosts are
affable enough but it’s not quite hitting the spot – yet.

3.35pm – As they break, time to recap.

Oscar for art direction – Alice in Wonderland;

Oscar for cinematography – Wally Pfister for Inception;

Best Supporting actress – Melissa “F***ing” Leo,

Best animated short – The Lost Thing 

Best animated film – Toy Story 3

Best adapted screenplay – Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

Best original screenplay – The King’s Speech

Best Supporting Actor – Christian Bale

Best Foreign Film – In A Better World

References to Melissa Leo’s F Bomb during acceptance
speech – Four.

3.32pm
– “Bloody hell – what am I doing in a room of such
talented and inspirational people?” He’s rocking the shaggy
medieval look again – “Melissa – I’m not going to drop the F bomb
like she did. I’ve done that plenty”. Kudos sir – and then a shout
to Dicky Eklund who he played in the Fighter. That brings
the number of references to Melissa Leo’s f pas to Four. Bale
thanks finally his wife while his voice wobbles “who’s my mast
during the storms of life” – he then loses his voice and exits
stage left.

3.29pm – Reese Witherspoon here to hand out

best supporting actor. The nominees are
Christian Bale – The Fighter, John Hawkes – Winter’s Bone, Jeremy
Renner – The Town, Mark Ruffalo – The Kids Are All Right and
Geoffrey Rush – The King’s Speech. The winner is (I reckon
Christian Bale.) –
The Oscar for Best Supporting Actor goes
to
Christian Bale.

3.26pm – Russell Brand and Helen Mirren. She
speaks French and Brand translates – apparently Helen Mirren
thought her Queen role was better than Colin Firth’s The
King’s Speech. They’re here for
Nominees for best
Foreign film – Biutiful (Mexico), Dogtooth (Greece), In a
Better World (Denmark), Incendies (Canada) and Outside the Law
(Hors-la-loi) (Algeria) –
the winner is In a Better
World. It’s the third film from Denmark to win the Oscar -
director Susanne Bier comes to the stage “What an honour, so truly
honoured and grateful, thank you very much” before thanking her
fellow nominees. It got the Golden Globe recently and was odds on
favourites to take this on too – don’t forget
all the film reviews you’ll need are here

3.25pm – James Franco now in drag as Marilyn
(as Anne got the tux) - “Weird part is I just got a text
message from Charlie Sheen.”

3.23pm – Anne Hathaway’s here to do a duet, and
looking dapper in a tux. But the partner dropped out – “On my own,
cos someone’s a hu-uuge ass. I won’t say who – thought Australians
were our allies” she sings. We think she means Jackman. Yep it’s
confirmed with a Wolverine reference. Shazam, Jackman, shazam.

3.21pm – To recap -

Oscar for art direction – Alice in Wonderland;

Oscar for cinematography – Wally Pfister for Inception;

Best Supporting actress – Melissa “F***ing” Leo,

Best animated short – The Lost Thing 

Best animated film – Toy Story 3

Best adapted screenplay – Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

Best original screenplay – The King’s Speech

References to Melissa Leo’s F Bomb during
acceptance speech - Three.

3.20pm
– Still to come – Russell Brand. Reese
Witherspoon. Crikey, I can’t contain myself.

3.18pm - David Seidler heads to the stage “The
writer’s speech – this is terrifying. My Father always said to me
I’d be a late bloomer” (he’s old and white) and is apparently the
oldest person to win this award. He thanks his daughter, his son
for having faith in him. He thanks The Queen “for not putting him
in the tower for the Melissa Leo f word.” and thanks all the
stutterers in the world who “have a voice and have been
heard.”

3.16pm – They stay on for
nominees for
the best original screenplay – they are  Mike Leigh -
Another Year, Scott Silver, Paul Tamasy and Eric Johnson
(screenplay); Keith Dorrington, Paul Tamasy and Eric Johnson
(story) – The Fighter, Christopher Nolan – Inception, Lisa
Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg – The Kids Are All Right and David
Seidler – The King’s Speech.
Winner is …The King’s
Speech.

3.13pm – Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem dressed
in white tuxes head to the stage.
Nominees for the best
adapted screenplay are Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy – 127
Hours, Aaron Sorkin – The Social Network, Michael Arndt
(screenplay); John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton and Lee Unkrich (story)
- Toy Story 3, Joel Coen and Ethan Coen – True Grit and Debra
Granik and Anne Rosellini – Winter’s Bone.
Winner is…
(think this one is Aaron Sorkin’s)
The Oscar goes
to first time nominee Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network.
Aaron accepts the award on behalf of the writer of the book – he
can write good dialogue but this is slightly dry as he lists a
whole number of people. Still he throws some major thanks to
director David Fincher, “the nicest guy in the world” before
thanking all the cast as the music swells up behind him. “Roxy
Sorkin your father just won an Academy Award – I’m going to have to
insist on some respect from your guinea pig.”

3.12pm – Anne Hathaway’s back – looking cheery
and introducing a piece about the first ever Hollywood Academy.
There’s a nostalgic theme this year.

3.10pm – And another ad break. If the crib
notes are right, we’ve got Russell Brand and Helen Mirren to “look
forward to” – and Nicole Kidman with Hugh Jackman. Kirk Douglas
while a little painful to watch was amusing and I think somehow
Melissa Leo may regret her faux pas.

3.08pm – To recap -

Oscar for art direction - Alice in Wonderland;

Oscar for cinematography - Wally Pfister for Inception;

Best Supporting actress – Melissa “F***ing” Leo,

Best animated short – The Lost Thing 

Best animated film – Toy Story 3.

3.04pm –
It’s Best animated film
time – the nominees are How to Train Your Dragon, The
Illusionist and Toy Story 3 –
the winner is…Toy Story
3.  No surprise there – director Lee Unkrich heads to
the stage “Pixar is the most awesome place on the planet to make
movies.” Think this was no real surprise to be honest. Mind you the
calibre of all the nominees was very high – “Thanks for embracing a
movie about talking toys which had something very human to say.”
Greatest trilogy ever – it has to be said.

3.02pm –
Best animated short:
Day and Night, The Gruffalo, Let’s Pollute, The Lost Thing,
Madagascar, a Journey diary – and the winner is “You know”
Timberlake channels Kirk Douglas’ delaying tactics. It’s

The Lost Thing picking it up. It’s one I’ve not
seen – sometimes wish short films had a wider audience, I used to
love the days when a short preceded the film.  

3.00pm – Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis head
to the stage. Oh, the beautiful people. Justin says “I’m Banksy” -
yeah you, wish. Mila backs me up. They’re here for the best
animated Oscars. Which they would fail to pick up.

2.57pm – Melissa is told “she’s much more
beautiful than in the Fighter” by Kirk – she asks him what he’s
doing later on. Erm, awkward. “I’m just shaking in my boots here”
before she thanks David O Russell the director and the rest of the
cast. Now she’s getting emotional and speechless “Holy snakes
there’s people up there too” she says. Now she’s just let out the F
bomb. “Oops” she says. “My beautiful son can’t join me – he’s
travelling. It’s okay Jack.” She’s wobbling a little now – “This
has been an extraordinary journey.” She’s clearly passionate but a
little on the scary side too.

2.53pm – Kirk’s here to present the

Best supporting actress. Nominees are as follows:
Amy Adams – The Fighter, Helena Bonham Carter – The King’s Speech,
Melissa Leo – The Fighter, Hailee Steinfeld – True Grit and Jacki
Weaver – Animal Kingdom –
winner is… being put
on hold while Kirk tells Hugh Jackman “I don’t know why you’re
laughing” – a little bit of chewing the scenery here. And it goes
to Kirk Douglas for dragging out the moment. “Three times and I
lost every time.” The winner is
Melissa Leo. 
Looks like that dodgy campaign she launched didn’t torpedo her own
chances.

2.52pm – “James you look much better out of the
cave. I want to thank Miss Hathaway – she’s gorgeous. Where were
you when I was making pictures?” Can see where Michael gets it.

2.51pm - Kirk Douglas, “a living legend” ambles
onto the stage to a standing ovation. I’m Spartacus, the little boy
in me cries out as everyone stands up.

2.48pm – And the Academy’s off to a break. Word
from the red carpet and
Mr Tim
Wilson is “Hathaway + Franco awkward starting off. An American
beside labels them ‘corny’. So the Oscars commence…” Don’t forget
scroll down to the bottom of this page to get details of the Oscar
swag I’m generously giving away today – thanks to various film
companies.

2.46pm – To recap –
Oscar for art
direction to Alice in Wonderland; Oscar for cinematography to Wally
Pfister for Inception. 2 down, some 20 to go.

2.45pm – Tom Hanks is back to give out the

Oscar for Cinematography – nominees are Matthew
Libatique – Black Swan, Wally Pfister – Inception, Danny Cohen -
The King’s Speech, Jeff Cronenweth – The Social Network and Roger
Deakins – True Grit –
winner is Wally Pfister for
Inception. Wally thanks Christopher Nolan for his vision
and then thanks his parents before heading off stage.

2.42pm – Two time Award winner Mr Tom Hanks
heads to give out the first two awards. We’re heading back to the
Titanic as we remember the awards winners in these categories. It’s
a slightly sombre tone and earnest. It’s the now the
Oscar
for Art direction – nominees are Robert Stromberg
(production design) and Karen O’Hara (set decoration) – Alice in
Wonderland, Stuart Craig (production design) and Stephenie McMillan
(set decoration) – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, Guy
Hendrix Dyas (production design) and Larry Dias and Doug Mowat (set
decoration) – Inception, Eve Stewart (production design) and Judy
Farr (set decoration) – The King’s Speech, and Jess Gonchor
(production design) and Nancy Haigh (set decoration) – True Grit -

the winner is Alice In Wonderland. A Robert
Stromberg, the winner says “Why didn’t I lose that 20 pounds?” and
then throws props to the other nominees. Nice classy start – if a
little dry. “Meet me with a saw Tim Burton because this is half
yours.” Suddenly he remembers to thank his family.

2.41pm – “It’s been a great year for lesbians”
Anne puts Black Swan and The Kids Are All Right into her way of
thinking. She comes unstuck when she talks Toy Story 3 though -
asking “Where’s the dad?”

2.39pm – “What do you get if you win?” James
Franco plays the dumb putz routine. Falling a bit flat now and the
lack of real laughs seems to be backing us up – Anne gives a shout
out to her mum. Which reminds me – “Hi mum!” Anne’s now being told
off by her mom and ordered to “stand up straight”. Grandma Franco’s
here too – and she “just saw Marky Mark.”

2.38pm – “This is actually happening” – Anne
Hathaway. She means the awards’ presenting. “You look very
appealing to a younger demographic as well, James.” “It used to be
you get naked, you get nominated” Anne’s a little upset not to be
nominated. Maybe if Love and Other Drugs had been a bit stronger,
you may have been ok.

2.36pm - It’s the De Lorean from Back To The
Future….they do make a good pair – and this is a solidly funny
start to the awards – straight into it and applause all round.

2.34pm – Morgan Freeman narrates Alec Baldwin’s
dreams. James Franco is in the King’s Speech now – Anne Hathaway -
“I have good news from the future – microphones get smaller” But
the biggest laugh comes from Anne Hathaway as the dance of the
brown duck from Black Swan. This is quite funny stuff for an
opener. More hits than misses. Turns out Alec Baldwin is motivating
them and they just got “inceptioned.”

2.30pm – The lights go down, the drums roll – and
here come the Academy Awards. Cue the normal montage of filmed
moments – Anne Hathaway and James Franco with Leo  (in that
cafe scene from Inception ) say they’re off to Alec Baldwin’s
subconscious to get some presenting ideas. Cue the plane scene and
Alec B is there. The weaving into various sequences – The Social
Network – then The Fighter – Anne Hathaway lands a punch on James
Franco. And into True Grit land – with Anne Hathaway as a one patch
wearing cowboy. James Franco to Jeff Bridges – “I loved you in
Tron.”

2.26pm – Tom Hanks will be the first presenter up
to give out the first statue of 2011. Looks like the people who got
their hands on the leaked documents were on the money. And here we
go – the 83rd Annual Academy Awards.

2.22pm – Hugh Jackman’s being interviewed as a
former host, being asked his views on what’s ahead for Anne
Hathaway and James Franco. He says the stage manager two years ago
told him “Don’t mess it up – about a billion people watching.” I
know how you feel Hugh, a billion are reading this too.

2.12pm – We start at 2.30pm…and if the
spoiler notes are anything to go by (thanks a lot leakers –
check them out here) it should be an interesting
show. I’m wondering if they deliberately leaked these to try and
generate some interest in the show. It’s so hard to be this cynical
but I like to think I cut through the faux showbiz
(fauxbiz?) world with the knife of harshness.

(If you want a refresher of the Oscar films in contention
click here
to view the trailers)

Over the next couple of hours you’ll find out here – but we’ve
got a couple of moments for you to win yourself some Oscar
swag.

- To win a Fighter prize pack,
click here.

- To grab a King’s Speech prize pack,
click here.

- To nab a True Grit prize pack,
click here

- To get an Inception prize pack,
click here

- To go in our draw to get tickets to Blue Valentine,
click here

- To win a 127 Hours prize pack,
click here

- To win Exit Thru The Gift Shop on DVD,
click here.

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Entertainment News Video 

• 
  
  Hollywood rewards its finest (2:44) 
• 
  
  The King’s Speech favourite to win at Oscars (1:50) 
• 
  
  Cher brillance (6:08) 

The Oscars 2011 – As it happened

• 

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    photos
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    14:00
    
    
    Oscars red carpet: As it happened
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  • 
    
    11:00
    
    
    On the red carpet at the Oscars (4:45)

So here we go again – Hollywood’s annual schmooze fest is
here.

Oh, and one thing – forget the King’s Speech, Fighter debate -
or the Social Network Facebook film, the major Oscar has to go to
Anna Murray for her final ever (sniff) red carpet coverage. Check
out the gems of claws/nails out
commentary from the Oscars red carpet
here.

Talking of the RC, I asked the boss for a chance to go there
for work – but Tim Wilson beat me to it.
Follow Tim Wilson as he Tweets from the Oscars
here.

5.38pm - That’s a wrap as a choir of
school kids sing us out with Somewhere the Rainbow.  A
memorable Oscars? Not really – not enough moments stood out from
the crowd (Kirk Douglas and Melissa f***ing Leo being the
exceptions) and the hosts, while genial were a little flat as
well.

Still, as the King’s Speech celebrates another week atop the NZ Box
Office, methinks the Royal Reign will continue for a while
longer….

To recap

Oscar for Best Picture – The King’s Speech

Best actor – Colin Firth

Best actress – Natalie Portman

Best Supporting actress – Melissa “F***ing” Leo

Best Supporting Actor – Christian Bale

Best director – Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech

Oscar for art direction – Alice in Wonderland;

Oscar for cinematography – Wally Pfister for Inception;

Best animated short – The Lost Thing

Best animated film – Toy Story 3

Best adapted screenplay – Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

Best original screenplay – The King’s Speech

Best Supporting Actor – Christian Bale

Best Foreign Film – In A Better World

Best Original score – Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for the Social
Network

Best Oscar for Sound mixing  – Inception

Best sound editing – Inception

Best Make up – The Wolfman

Best Costume Design – Colleen Atwood, Alice In Wonderland

Best documentary short subject – Strangers No More

Best documentary feature – Inside Job

Best editing – The Social Network

Best Visual Effects – Inception

Best original song – Randy Newman, Toy Story 3

References to Melissa Leo’s F Bomb during acceptance
speech – Stagnant at Four (and unlikely to increase)

5.32pm – Mr Spielberg heads to the stage. He
then lists the illustrious films which missed out as well – Grapes
of Wrath being among them. The nearly winners which are still
always remembered for the right reasons. It’s a good touch to
remind them that they’re all winners as the montage of clips from
all the films play with Colin Firth’s final regal wartime speech
from The King’s Speech.

But there can be only one – and the
Oscar for Best Picture
goes to (drum roll)
The King’s Speech.
That means it’s taken four of its 12 nominations this year and The
Social Network heads to the almost ran. “Tom Hooper you put so much
passion into every shot of this film.” The crew heads to the stage
to thank them all – “It’s been a huge privilege to be part of a
film which touched so many people around the world.” Ironic this
was one of the last films made by the UK Film council before it
went under.

5.31pm – So we’re at the end. Steven Spielberg to
present the Best picture. Nominees are as follows: Black Swan, The
Fighter, Inception, The Kids Are All Right, The King’s Speech, 127
Hours, The Social Network,    Toy Story 3, True Grit
and Winter’s Bone. And the winner is….in my view, The King’s
Speech. A regal sweep is waiting methinks.

5.27pm – One award to go

 To recap

Oscar for art direction – Alice in Wonderland;

Oscar for cinematography – Wally Pfister for Inception;

Best Supporting actress – Melissa “F***ing” Leo,

Best animated short – The Lost Thing

Best animated film – Toy Story 3

Best adapted screenplay – Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

Best original screenplay – The King’s Speech

Best Supporting Actor – Christian Bale

Best Foreign Film – In A Better World

Best Original score – Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for the Social
Network

Best Oscar for Sound mixing  – Inception

Best sound editing – Inception

Best Make up – The Wolfman

Best Costume Design – Colleen Atwood, Alice In Wonderland

Best documentary short subject – Strangers No More

Best documentary feature – Inside Job

Best editing – The Social Network

Best Visual Effects – Inception

Best original song – Randy Newman, Toy Story 3

Best director – Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech

Best actor – Colin Firth

Best actress – Natalie Portman

References to Melissa Leo’s F Bomb during acceptance
speech – Stagnant at Four (and unlikely to increase)

5.25pm – “I have a feeling my career’s just peaked. My deepest
thanks to the Academy. I’m experiencing stirrings in the upper
abdominals which are threatening to form themselves into dance
moves. Joyous as it would be for me, it would be problematic
if they made it to my legs before I got off stage.” Colin does
self effacing well before paying tribute to Geoffrey Rush and
Helena Bonham Carter. He’s looking earnest now as he thanks David
Seidler - it’s a very dry, sensitive speech and one which
is respectful – as he injects a bit of humour in by thanking Harvey
for “taking me on when I was a mere child star”. “Now if you’ll
excuse me I have some impulses I have to attend to backstage.” He
means dancing, right?

5.25pm –
Best actor nominees
are (cue drum roll) Javier Bardem – Biutiful, Jeff Bridges – True
Grit, Jesse Eisenberg – The Social Network, Colin Firth – The
King’s Speech and James Franco – 127 Hours. And the
Oscar
goes to Colin Firth. What a s-s-s-surprise.

5.19pm - “This is special moment for me” Anne
says – before fluffing her lines and introducing Sandra Bullock.
“Ola” - Sandra flirts with Javier Bardem; Jeff Bridges
“won this award last year – wouldn’t it be nice if you gave someone
else a chance this year” Sandra finally injects a bit of humour
into the proceedings. “Jesse I’m still waiting for you to accept my
friend request on Facebook – you’ve inspired men hunched over their
keyboards” – Jesse Eisenberg looks on like he’s stepped in
something brown and stinky. He’s too serious. “Colin, Colin – right
here” – Sandra teases – “I hear the Queen liked this – which is
good because you plan going home at some point don’t you?” and
James Franco, your Oscar co-host. “Oh you’re back there – hey.”
Sandra Bullock says “you are the number one reason children are
late being picked up from school because of your work on (US Soap)
General Hospital.”

5.17pm – Natalie Portman thanks the Academy
“This is insane” she decrees before telling fellow nominees
she’s in “awe of you”. Her voice is wavering and here are the
tears. Can I say hormones? Or emotion? She thanks her agents and
people who help her to work – and “everyone who’s ever hired me”.
It’s not an inspiring speech but it’s from the heart I guess. The
band doesn’t seem to be playing her off yet. “There are people on
films that no-one ever talks about – your heart and soul every day”
before paying tribute to the make up, costumes and AD, camera
operators “you gave me all of my energy.” Finally she thanks her
family and friends.

5.15pm – Best actress Oscar goes to Natalie
Portman.

5.10pm - We’re into the final stretch – please
let it be so. Jeff Bridges heads to the stage to present the

Best actress nominees. They are – Annette
Bening – The Kids Are All Right, Nicole Kidman – Rabbit Hole,
Jennifer Lawrence – Winter’s Bone, Natalie Portman – Black Swan and
Michelle Williams – Blue Valentine. Bridges pays tribute to each
one of them while playing clips from their respective films. Nicole
Kidman is sat in front of Andrew Garfield and Helen Mirren – just
thought you’d like to know. Natalie’s the favourite here though but
Jennifer Lawrence or Michelle Williams could be the upset in
this category.

5.08pm –
To recap

Oscar for art direction – Alice in Wonderland;

Oscar for cinematography – Wally Pfister for Inception;

Best Supporting actress – Melissa “F***ing” Leo,

Best animated short – The Lost Thing 

Best animated film – Toy Story 3

Best adapted screenplay – Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

Best original screenplay – The King’s Speech

Best Supporting Actor – Christian Bale

Best Foreign Film – In A Better World

Best Original score – Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for the Social
Network

Best Oscar for Sound mixing  – Inception

Best sound editing – Inception

Best Make up – The Wolfman

Best Costume Design – Colleen Atwood, Alice In
Wonderland 

Best documentary short subject – Strangers No More

Best documentary feature – Inside Job

Best editing – The Social Network

Best Visual Effects – Inception

Best original song – Randy Newman, Toy Story 3

Best director – Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech




References to Melissa Leo’s F Bomb during acceptance speech -
Stagnant at Four.  (Patience – though there’s still
time)

5.05pm – Annette Bening, a nominee herself is
headed to the stage to show highlights of the Governor’s Awards and
then invites Kevin Brownlow, Eli Wallach and Francis Ford Coppolla
to the stage to have the auditorium pay tribute. And they do – by
standing and clapping. Eli Wallach is quite the adorable old man
and listening to him speak before the ceremony, he was classy,
funny and humble – a rare trait in Hollywood.

5.03pm - “Wow, this is extraordinary.” Tom
Hooper on what’s possibly Oscar’s upset given conventional belief
was it was going to Fincher – but he thanks “the triangle of man
love” referring to Firth and Rush – and David Seidler “Whose
journey to the Kodak Theatre is profoundly moving.” Hooper then
thanks his mother who went to a play reading of the King’s Speech -
and revealed to Tom “I think I’ve found your next film.” There’s
the classy moment – “With this I honour you – and the moral of the
story is – Listen to your mother.”

5pm - Anne Hathaway leads thanks to Celine and
Halle for the In Memoriam. Then on saunters Hilary Swank to help
hand out the Best director award. Along with Kathyrn Bigelow.

Best director nominees – Darren Aronofsky – Black
Swan, David O. Russell – The Fighter, Tom Hooper – The King’s
Speech, David Fincher – The Social Network and Joel Coen and Ethan
Coen – True Grit.
The winner is….
Tom
Hooper, The King’s Speech. Is it too late for me to change
my picks??

4.58pm – So we have four big ones left and
here’s my picks – Director: David Fincher; Actor – Colin Firth;
Actress Natalie Portman and Film – I’d like the King’s Speech to
take it, but think it’s heading to The Social Network (which would
lead to an influx of “ironic” ie unoriginal posts on FB itself)

4.57pm – Tim Wilson tweets – “Consensus among
the hacks in the trailer in the live truck compound… This is a
mess. Everything matches, nothing fits.” tvnz.co.nz blogger Darren
nods. And talks in the third person – a sign perhaps Oscar fatigue
is setting in.

4.51pm – As the orchestra fires into life,
Celine Dion sings to the In Memoriam section - John Barry,
Tony Curits, Edward Limato, Tom Mankiewicz, gloria Stuart, William
Fraker, Joseph Strick, Lionel Jeffries, Sally Menke, Ronni Chasen,
Leslie Nielsen, Robert Radnitz, Claude Chabrol, Pete Postelthwaite,
Piere Guffroy, Patricia Neal, George Hickenlooper, Robert Culp, Bob
Boyle, Mario Monicelli, Lynn Redgrave, Elliott Kastner, Dede Allen,
Peter Yaters, Anne Francis, Arthur Penn, Theonie Aldedge, Susannah
York, Ronald Neame, David Wolper, Jill Clayburgh, Alan Hume, Irvin
Kershner, Dennis Hopper, Dino de Laurentiis, Blake Edwards, Kevin
McCarthy – we salute you all for the work you’ve done. A tribute
follows to Lena Horne from Halle Berry.

4.45pm – After all the warbling, the

Oscar nominees for best original song are Coming
Home from Country Strong; music and lyric by Tom Douglas, Troy
Verges and Hillary Lindsey, I See the Light from Tangled; music by
Alan Menken; Lyric by Glenn Slater, If I Rise from 127 Hours; music
by A.R. Rahman; lyric by Dido and Rollo Armstrong and  We
Belong Together from Toy Story 3; music and lyric by Randy Newman.

The winner is Randy Newman for his Toy Story
number – “I’m very grateful and surprised” he says. “I’ve been
nominated 20 times and only won twice.” Does gracious mean
anything? He’s self effacing – and says “he wants to be good TV” -
before slating the Academy for only nominating 4 songs when others
have 5. He won’t win again, methinks. Coming soon In Memoriam and
Halle Berry. Those two aren’t related by the way – I don’t want any
of those rumours starting here and now.

4.42pm – Jennifer Hudson introduces A R Rahman
in. A. Very. Staccato. Tone. Honestly, there’s wood with more life
under my house. Florence from Florence and the Machine sings along.
And then Gwyneth Paltrow sings her song from Country Song. A
certain colleague wanders past, stops, hangs over the desk and
reveals “I’ve always quite liked Gwyneth.” And then stops at my
desk, swooning. I swear there’s actual drool on my keypad now
from his dribbling and fawning. She looks earnest as she sings.

4.40pm – “Winter’s Bone, Rabbit Hole – I’m
offended at some of the titles of the films this year. How To Train
Your Dragon – that’s disgusting” says James Franco. Anne titters
like a five year old.

4.38pm – Still time to grab some Oscar swag -
details at the bottom of this page. Comps close at 6pm and Judge’s
decision is final.

4.36pm – To recap

Oscar for art direction – Alice in Wonderland;

Oscar for cinematography – Wally Pfister for Inception;

Best Supporting actress – Melissa “F***ing” Leo,

Best animated short – The Lost Thing 

Best animated film – Toy Story 3

Best adapted screenplay – Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

Best original screenplay – The King’s Speech

Best Supporting Actor – Christian Bale

Best Foreign Film – In A Better World

Best Original score – Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for the Social
Network

Best Oscar for Sound mixing  – Inception

Best sound editing – Inception

Best Make up – The Wolfman

Best Costume Design – Colleen Atwood, Alice In
Wonderland 

Best documentary short subject – Strangers No More

Best documentary feature – Inside Job

Best editing – The Social Network

Best Visual Effects – Inception

References to Melissa Leo’s F Bomb during acceptance
speech – Stagnant at Four.

4.34pm – The duo stay on for the
Oscar
nominees for best editing are Andrew Weisblum – Black
Swan, Pamela Martin – The Fighter, Tariq Anwar – The King’s Speech,
Jon Harris – 127 Hours and Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter – The Social
Network.
Winner is The Social Network. From the
team who won for Benjamin Button a few years back. I reckon that
makes about five awards to go.

4.29pm – Bob Hope (hologram from 1950s – and
very well done) – introducing Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson aka
Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law. They’re here to read the

Oscar nominees for Visual effects are -Ken
Ralston, David Schaub, Carey Villegas and Sean Phillips – Alice in
Wonderland, Tim Burke, John Richardson, Christian Manz and Nicolas
Aithadi – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1,Michael
Owens, Bryan Grill, Stephan Trojanski and Joe Farrell – Hereafter,
Paul Franklin, Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley and Peter Bebb -
Inception and Janek Sirrs, Ben Snow, Ged Wright and Daniel Sudick -
Iron Man 2.
The winner is….coming shortly after
Jude mocks Robert Downey Jr for his lewd behaviour off screen

.  A couple of momentary laughs

 The winner is Inception. Rightly so for
those amazing scenes of Joseph Gordon Levitt fighting in a
distorting corridor. The team sends thanks to crews around the
world.

4.26pm – To return back to the Kodak Theatre -
with Anne presenting “a very special surprise” (which we all know
of) as Billy Crystal is brought on – to a standing ovation. He’ll
show the newbies how to do it naturally methinks. “So, where was
I?” he announces before talking of the first television Oscars -
and paying tribute to Bob Hope, “a really sexy movie star”. Some of
these zingers are falling a little short – “I wanted to be like Bob
Hope so I bought land in the valley” (I paraphrased a bit there as
I missed it all from yawning) – apparently Bob flipped Billy off
during an offscreen moment too. If anyone’s free, I need some
coffee to revive me.

4.23pm – Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law are due
soon. As is a peek at the very first Oscars ceremony.
Hope it’s not as long as this one feels. 

4.18pm – Cue Oprah Winfrey looking classy to
give the Oscar for Outstanding documentary. The
Oscar
nominees for Documentary Feature are Banksy and Jaimie
D’Cruz – Exit through the Gift Shop; Josh Fox and Trish Adlesic -
Gasland, Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs – Inside Job, Tim
Hetherington and Sebastian – Junger Restrepo and Lucy Walker and
Angus Aynsley – Waste Land.
The winner is…Inside
Job – No need for Banksy to fear being unmasked here.
Charles Ferguson heads to the stage with a minor diatribe about how
no financial directors have gone to jail “and that’s wrong” since
the global meltdown. Cue applause.

4.17pm – It’s been the year of the musical
according to James Franco. Cue an odd dance mix montage from films
- Harry Potter’s Ron and Hermione get a remix Ball of Light – Toy
Story, Justin Timberlake remix from the Social Network – “He
doesn’t own a shirt” by Edward Cullen – a Twilight musical
mocking Jacob Black from Eclipse. Very cool moment. Now Anne is
sashaying on the stage making her dress shimmy. Bringing us down
slightly. Well, at least she’s having fun.

4.14pm – Tim Wilson tweets “Franco in drag/Kirk
Douglas/weird montages as apps – Dangerously lame oscars saved by
Melissa Leo F-bomb” He’s actually right- I’m losing the will to
live a little here. There’s been nothing memorable yet
- though I know the tear jerking moment is due soon with In
Memoriam 

4.12pm –
Oscar for Best Live Action
short – the winner is God Of Love. Luke Matheny director
with a major fro on the stage says “God I should have got a
haircut.” It gets a laugh. “Sasha Gordon you’re my dream come true”
elicits an awwww.

4.11pm – Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal to
introduce the Oscar for shorts
- Oscar for Best documentary
short subject goes to Strangers No More.

4.06pm – Is it me or is the show this year a
little flat? We’re around halfway through and it’s feeling a little
like a slog right now.  Biggest winners so far are Inception
with 3 awards, The Social Network and The Fighter with 2. Expect
that’s it for Inception now as we head into the big hitters.

4.01pm – A celebration of songs in movies – “As
Time Goes By” “8 Mile” “Beauty and the Beast” followed
by Kevin Spacey does a medley from Top Hat, before introducing
himself as “George Clooney” (cue muted laughter. Randy Newman
presents the Oscar nominated We Belong Together from Toy Story 3 -
next up Chuck aka Zachary Levi and Mandy Moore singing I See The
Light from Tangled. One of my colleagues has just said Randy
Newman’s playing the same song he’s been playing for years – I’m
ignoring him (even though he has a point) as my hero Zachary Levi
aka
Chuck is
on now. The stage goes red as the duet continues and finishes. And
then a break. With the promise of Jake Gyllenhaal and Oprah
Winfrey.

4.00pm – To recap

Oscar for art direction – Alice in Wonderland;

Oscar for cinematography – Wally Pfister for Inception;

Best Supporting actress – Melissa “F***ing” Leo,

Best animated short – The Lost Thing 

Best animated film – Toy Story 3

Best adapted screenplay – Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

Best original screenplay – The King’s Speech

Best Supporting Actor – Christian Bale

Best Foreign Film – In A Better World

Best Original score – Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for the Social
Network

Best Oscar for Sound mixing  - Inception

Best sound editing – Inception

Best Make up – The Wolfman

Best Costume Design – Colleen Atwood, Alice In
Wonderland

References to Melissa Leo’s F Bomb during acceptance
speech – Four.

3.58pm – Time for the
Oscar for Costume
Design – nominees are Colleen Atwood – Alice in
Wonderland, Antonella Cannarozzi – I Am Love, Jenny Beavan – The
King’s Speech, Sandy Powell – The Tempest and Mary Zophres – True
Grit,
The winner is
Colleen Atwood, Alice
in Wonderland. Anne Hathaway was in that – I know you
know, but I have to re-emphasise these things. Colleen thanks her
fellow nominees – “It’s great to be such a part of a great group of
people.”

3.54pm – Cate Blanchett is giving the award for
the
Best Make up – (Mentioning Lord of the Rings)
- “That’s gross” she says of Wolfman.
Rick Baker gets the
Academy award for the film, his seventh award and 12th
nomination. Rick “rocking a white ponytail on a black tux” Baker
thanks his wife before saying he’s shaking so much.

3.53pm – Marisa Tomei heads to the stage to
present a recap of Sci Tech Awards – 11 awards were handed out
“Congratulations, nerds” Jame Franco says. Nice Franco – we’re
geeks as well as nerds (PS On an unrelated note, It’s got to
be time for Chuck to hit the stage hasn’t it?)

3.52pm – Tim Wilson’s tweeted that the best
acceptance speech was David Seidler for the King’s Speech. See what
else he’s
tweeting about here.

3.48pm –
Nominees for Sound
Editing – Inception, Toy Story 3, Tron:Legacy (!!), True
Grit, Unstoppable –
the winner is Inception. That
makes Inception the biggest winner so far, netting three Awards.
Richard King, the guy collecting, thanks Christopher Nolan – who
was ignored by the Academy this time round. Must be bittersweet
seeing people from your production get nominated and get
awards when you’re in the cold. And so, to another ad
break. 

3.45pm – “I am six degrees of separation away
from the next two presenters – look it up on the internet” James
Franco intros Scarlett Johansson and Matthew McConaughey “The
sound” they intone as they give out the
Oscar for Sound
mixing. The winner is Inception. The team heads up and one
of their number pulls faces at people she knows in the audience. To
my eye, it seems a little rude but you know, I’ve not yet been up
on that stage. Still no further reference to the F bomb. But the
music plays them off.

3.42pm –
The Oscar nominees for
Original score are John Powell – How to Train Your Dragon,
Hans Zimmer – Inception, Alexandre Desplat – The King’s Speech,
A.R. Rahman – 127 Hours and Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross – The
Social Network. Applause in the auditorium for the Social Network’s
score.
The winner is — Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for
the Social Network. Trent says” This is really happening.
We were very proud to be part of this film. To be part of this
company is humbling and flattering” before thanking David
Fincher.

3.40pm – The pair introduce a Chaplin scene
showing how sound and pictures have evolved – quite the arty piece.
And the orchestra’s revealed playing the theme from Star Wars and
the hairs on my neck go up. It’s great how music transports you
back to the cinema – ET, Star Wars – all iconic themes and so
intrinsically linked with our memories.

3.39pm – Here’s Hugh and Nicole – I think as
Anne introduces them she’s had her sixth costume change.

3.38pm – Academy president Tom Sherak addresses
the amassed throng revealing ABC and the Oscars have “just renewed
our vows.” Through to 2020.

3.37pm – So is the show this year working? One
hour in and only a couple of memorable moments – the hosts are
affable enough but it’s not quite hitting the spot – yet.

3.35pm – As they break, time to recap.

Oscar for art direction – Alice in Wonderland;

Oscar for cinematography – Wally Pfister for Inception;

Best Supporting actress – Melissa “F***ing” Leo,

Best animated short – The Lost Thing 

Best animated film – Toy Story 3

Best adapted screenplay – Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

Best original screenplay – The King’s Speech

Best Supporting Actor – Christian Bale

Best Foreign Film – In A Better World

References to Melissa Leo’s F Bomb during acceptance
speech – Four.

3.32pm
– “Bloody hell – what am I doing in a room of such
talented and inspirational people?” He’s rocking the shaggy
medieval look again – “Melissa – I’m not going to drop the F bomb
like she did. I’ve done that plenty”. Kudos sir – and then a shout
to Dicky Eklund who he played in the Fighter. That brings
the number of references to Melissa Leo’s f pas to Four. Bale
thanks finally his wife while his voice wobbles “who’s my mast
during the storms of life” – he then loses his voice and exits
stage left.

3.29pm – Reese Witherspoon here to hand out

best supporting actor. The nominees are
Christian Bale – The Fighter, John Hawkes – Winter’s Bone, Jeremy
Renner – The Town, Mark Ruffalo – The Kids Are All Right and
Geoffrey Rush – The King’s Speech. The winner is (I reckon
Christian Bale.) –
The Oscar for Best Supporting Actor goes
to
Christian Bale.

3.26pm – Russell Brand and Helen Mirren. She
speaks French and Brand translates – apparently Helen Mirren
thought her Queen role was better than Colin Firth’s The
King’s Speech. They’re here for
Nominees for best
Foreign film – Biutiful (Mexico), Dogtooth (Greece), In a
Better World (Denmark), Incendies (Canada) and Outside the Law
(Hors-la-loi) (Algeria) –
the winner is In a Better
World. It’s the third film from Denmark to win the Oscar -
director Susanne Bier comes to the stage “What an honour, so truly
honoured and grateful, thank you very much” before thanking her
fellow nominees. It got the Golden Globe recently and was odds on
favourites to take this on too – don’t forget
all the film reviews you’ll need are here

3.25pm – James Franco now in drag as Marilyn
(as Anne got the tux) - “Weird part is I just got a text
message from Charlie Sheen.”

3.23pm – Anne Hathaway’s here to do a duet, and
looking dapper in a tux. But the partner dropped out – “On my own,
cos someone’s a hu-uuge ass. I won’t say who – thought Australians
were our allies” she sings. We think she means Jackman. Yep it’s
confirmed with a Wolverine reference. Shazam, Jackman, shazam.

3.21pm – To recap -

Oscar for art direction – Alice in Wonderland;

Oscar for cinematography – Wally Pfister for Inception;

Best Supporting actress – Melissa “F***ing” Leo,

Best animated short – The Lost Thing 

Best animated film – Toy Story 3

Best adapted screenplay – Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

Best original screenplay – The King’s Speech

References to Melissa Leo’s F Bomb during
acceptance speech - Three.

3.20pm
– Still to come – Russell Brand. Reese
Witherspoon. Crikey, I can’t contain myself.

3.18pm - David Seidler heads to the stage “The
writer’s speech – this is terrifying. My Father always said to me
I’d be a late bloomer” (he’s old and white) and is apparently the
oldest person to win this award. He thanks his daughter, his son
for having faith in him. He thanks The Queen “for not putting him
in the tower for the Melissa Leo f word.” and thanks all the
stutterers in the world who “have a voice and have been
heard.”

3.16pm – They stay on for
nominees for
the best original screenplay – they are  Mike Leigh -
Another Year, Scott Silver, Paul Tamasy and Eric Johnson
(screenplay); Keith Dorrington, Paul Tamasy and Eric Johnson
(story) – The Fighter, Christopher Nolan – Inception, Lisa
Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg – The Kids Are All Right and David
Seidler – The King’s Speech.
Winner is …The King’s
Speech.

3.13pm – Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem dressed
in white tuxes head to the stage.
Nominees for the best
adapted screenplay are Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy – 127
Hours, Aaron Sorkin – The Social Network, Michael Arndt
(screenplay); John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton and Lee Unkrich (story)
- Toy Story 3, Joel Coen and Ethan Coen – True Grit and Debra
Granik and Anne Rosellini – Winter’s Bone.
Winner is…
(think this one is Aaron Sorkin’s)
The Oscar goes
to first time nominee Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network.
Aaron accepts the award on behalf of the writer of the book – he
can write good dialogue but this is slightly dry as he lists a
whole number of people. Still he throws some major thanks to
director David Fincher, “the nicest guy in the world” before
thanking all the cast as the music swells up behind him. “Roxy
Sorkin your father just won an Academy Award – I’m going to have to
insist on some respect from your guinea pig.”

3.12pm – Anne Hathaway’s back – looking cheery
and introducing a piece about the first ever Hollywood Academy.
There’s a nostalgic theme this year.

3.10pm – And another ad break. If the crib
notes are right, we’ve got Russell Brand and Helen Mirren to “look
forward to” – and Nicole Kidman with Hugh Jackman. Kirk Douglas
while a little painful to watch was amusing and I think somehow
Melissa Leo may regret her faux pas.

3.08pm – To recap -

Oscar for art direction - Alice in Wonderland;

Oscar for cinematography - Wally Pfister for Inception;

Best Supporting actress – Melissa “F***ing” Leo,

Best animated short – The Lost Thing 

Best animated film – Toy Story 3.

3.04pm –
It’s Best animated film
time – the nominees are How to Train Your Dragon, The
Illusionist and Toy Story 3 –
the winner is…Toy Story
3.  No surprise there – director Lee Unkrich heads to
the stage “Pixar is the most awesome place on the planet to make
movies.” Think this was no real surprise to be honest. Mind you the
calibre of all the nominees was very high – “Thanks for embracing a
movie about talking toys which had something very human to say.”
Greatest trilogy ever – it has to be said.

3.02pm –
Best animated short:
Day and Night, The Gruffalo, Let’s Pollute, The Lost Thing,
Madagascar, a Journey diary – and the winner is “You know”
Timberlake channels Kirk Douglas’ delaying tactics. It’s

The Lost Thing picking it up. It’s one I’ve not
seen – sometimes wish short films had a wider audience, I used to
love the days when a short preceded the film.  

3.00pm – Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis head
to the stage. Oh, the beautiful people. Justin says “I’m Banksy” -
yeah you, wish. Mila backs me up. They’re here for the best
animated Oscars. Which they would fail to pick up.

2.57pm – Melissa is told “she’s much more
beautiful than in the Fighter” by Kirk – she asks him what he’s
doing later on. Erm, awkward. “I’m just shaking in my boots here”
before she thanks David O Russell the director and the rest of the
cast. Now she’s getting emotional and speechless “Holy snakes
there’s people up there too” she says. Now she’s just let out the F
bomb. “Oops” she says. “My beautiful son can’t join me – he’s
travelling. It’s okay Jack.” She’s wobbling a little now – “This
has been an extraordinary journey.” She’s clearly passionate but a
little on the scary side too.

2.53pm – Kirk’s here to present the

Best supporting actress. Nominees are as follows:
Amy Adams – The Fighter, Helena Bonham Carter – The King’s Speech,
Melissa Leo – The Fighter, Hailee Steinfeld – True Grit and Jacki
Weaver – Animal Kingdom –
winner is… being put
on hold while Kirk tells Hugh Jackman “I don’t know why you’re
laughing” – a little bit of chewing the scenery here. And it goes
to Kirk Douglas for dragging out the moment. “Three times and I
lost every time.” The winner is
Melissa Leo. 
Looks like that dodgy campaign she launched didn’t torpedo her own
chances.

2.52pm – “James you look much better out of the
cave. I want to thank Miss Hathaway – she’s gorgeous. Where were
you when I was making pictures?” Can see where Michael gets it.

2.51pm - Kirk Douglas, “a living legend” ambles
onto the stage to a standing ovation. I’m Spartacus, the little boy
in me cries out as everyone stands up.

2.48pm – And the Academy’s off to a break. Word
from the red carpet and
Mr Tim
Wilson is “Hathaway + Franco awkward starting off. An American
beside labels them ‘corny’. So the Oscars commence…” Don’t forget
scroll down to the bottom of this page to get details of the Oscar
swag I’m generously giving away today – thanks to various film
companies.

2.46pm – To recap –
Oscar for art
direction to Alice in Wonderland; Oscar for cinematography to Wally
Pfister for Inception. 2 down, some 20 to go.

2.45pm – Tom Hanks is back to give out the

Oscar for Cinematography – nominees are Matthew
Libatique – Black Swan, Wally Pfister – Inception, Danny Cohen -
The King’s Speech, Jeff Cronenweth – The Social Network and Roger
Deakins – True Grit –
winner is Wally Pfister for
Inception. Wally thanks Christopher Nolan for his vision
and then thanks his parents before heading off stage.

2.42pm – Two time Award winner Mr Tom Hanks
heads to give out the first two awards. We’re heading back to the
Titanic as we remember the awards winners in these categories. It’s
a slightly sombre tone and earnest. It’s the now the
Oscar
for Art direction – nominees are Robert Stromberg
(production design) and Karen O’Hara (set decoration) – Alice in
Wonderland, Stuart Craig (production design) and Stephenie McMillan
(set decoration) – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, Guy
Hendrix Dyas (production design) and Larry Dias and Doug Mowat (set
decoration) – Inception, Eve Stewart (production design) and Judy
Farr (set decoration) – The King’s Speech, and Jess Gonchor
(production design) and Nancy Haigh (set decoration) – True Grit -

the winner is Alice In Wonderland. A Robert
Stromberg, the winner says “Why didn’t I lose that 20 pounds?” and
then throws props to the other nominees. Nice classy start – if a
little dry. “Meet me with a saw Tim Burton because this is half
yours.” Suddenly he remembers to thank his family.

2.41pm – “It’s been a great year for lesbians”
Anne puts Black Swan and The Kids Are All Right into her way of
thinking. She comes unstuck when she talks Toy Story 3 though -
asking “Where’s the dad?”

2.39pm – “What do you get if you win?” James
Franco plays the dumb putz routine. Falling a bit flat now and the
lack of real laughs seems to be backing us up – Anne gives a shout
out to her mum. Which reminds me – “Hi mum!” Anne’s now being told
off by her mom and ordered to “stand up straight”. Grandma Franco’s
here too – and she “just saw Marky Mark.”

2.38pm – “This is actually happening” – Anne
Hathaway. She means the awards’ presenting. “You look very
appealing to a younger demographic as well, James.” “It used to be
you get naked, you get nominated” Anne’s a little upset not to be
nominated. Maybe if Love and Other Drugs had been a bit stronger,
you may have been ok.

2.36pm - It’s the De Lorean from Back To The
Future….they do make a good pair – and this is a solidly funny
start to the awards – straight into it and applause all round.

2.34pm – Morgan Freeman narrates Alec Baldwin’s
dreams. James Franco is in the King’s Speech now – Anne Hathaway -
“I have good news from the future – microphones get smaller” But
the biggest laugh comes from Anne Hathaway as the dance of the
brown duck from Black Swan. This is quite funny stuff for an
opener. More hits than misses. Turns out Alec Baldwin is motivating
them and they just got “inceptioned.”

2.30pm – The lights go down, the drums roll – and
here come the Academy Awards. Cue the normal montage of filmed
moments – Anne Hathaway and James Franco with Leo  (in that
cafe scene from Inception ) say they’re off to Alec Baldwin’s
subconscious to get some presenting ideas. Cue the plane scene and
Alec B is there. The weaving into various sequences – The Social
Network – then The Fighter – Anne Hathaway lands a punch on James
Franco. And into True Grit land – with Anne Hathaway as a one patch
wearing cowboy. James Franco to Jeff Bridges – “I loved you in
Tron.”

2.26pm – Tom Hanks will be the first presenter up
to give out the first statue of 2011. Looks like the people who got
their hands on the leaked documents were on the money. And here we
go – the 83rd Annual Academy Awards.

2.22pm – Hugh Jackman’s being interviewed as a
former host, being asked his views on what’s ahead for Anne
Hathaway and James Franco. He says the stage manager two years ago
told him “Don’t mess it up – about a billion people watching.” I
know how you feel Hugh, a billion are reading this too.

2.12pm – We start at 2.30pm…and if the
spoiler notes are anything to go by (thanks a lot leakers –
check them out here) it should be an interesting
show. I’m wondering if they deliberately leaked these to try and
generate some interest in the show. It’s so hard to be this cynical
but I like to think I cut through the faux showbiz
(fauxbiz?) world with the knife of harshness.

(If you want a refresher of the Oscar films in contention
click here
to view the trailers)

Over the next couple of hours you’ll find out here – but we’ve
got a couple of moments for you to win yourself some Oscar
swag.

- To win a Fighter prize pack,
click here.

- To grab a King’s Speech prize pack,
click here.

- To nab a True Grit prize pack,
click here

- To get an Inception prize pack,
click here

- To go in our draw to get tickets to Blue Valentine,
click here

- To win a 127 Hours prize pack,
click here

- To win Exit Thru The Gift Shop on DVD,
click here.

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Meet Natalie Sperling

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–>

What you might see as a piece of cutlery, Natalie Sperling sees as a piece of art.

For the past two years, the multimedia artist has been crafting jewelry out of spoons to sell at Slim Goodie Boutique and Arena’s Florist, both in the city.

Sperling, 28, who also works as a server at Dinosaur Bar-B-Que, is currently working on a website and an online retail shop at www.etsy.com to sell her jewelry line, called njspoons.

And when she’s not slinging barbecue or making jewelry, Sperling keeps busy by painting. Her focus is on decorative and abstract painting using a variety of media.

The self-described “media schizophrenic” has been known to incorporate “hand-cut stencil work, patterns, lots and lots of color, and objective images juxtaposed with — or hidden within — subjective images.”

Shengulette is a Rochester freelancer writer.

‘I wanted to die’, says quake penknife amputee

By Amy Coopes
(AFP)
–
4 hours ago

CHRISTCHURCH, New Zealand — Pinned under a concrete wall and in agonising pain, a Christchurch quake survivor wanted to die before penknife-wielding surgeons hacked his legs off in a remarkable rescue.

“I just wanted there to be a decent aftershock to finish it,” New Zealander Brian Coker said of his ordeal trapped in the rubble of a Christchurch office block after the devastating tremor that has killed at least 148 people.

Quick-thinking surgeons, who were in Christchurch for a medical conference, saved Coker’s life by amputating his legs using a pocket knife and a hacksaw so the 52-year-old financial adviser could be pulled from the wreckage.

Coker issued a statement from the Waikato Hospital, where he is recovering, praising the surgeons who put their own lives at risk to operate on him in the still shaking building, using a Leatherman knife and builder’s hacksaw.

“I?d like to meet the doctors and rescuers at some time… I would like to thank them,” he said.

Coker said he did not remember the amputation because he was anaesthetised, but he could recall the quake and drifting in and out of consciousness trapped in a stairwell beneath debris for six hours, not knowing if help would arrive.

“I was swept off my feet when a concrete wall fell on me,” he said. “I knew straight away I was pinned and there was no way I could get myself out… the pain was excruciating. I had blood dripping from my head.”

He hesitated to text his wife because “I didn’t want to worry her”, eventually deciding to make contact for what he thought may be the final time.

“I wanted to tell her I loved her and that I may not survive,” he said.

Harried rescuers finally found him in the wreckage of the Pyne Gould building, giving him a drink of water and some morphine to ease the pain.

“They kept reassuring me they would get me out,” he said. “I could hear other people screaming in the building.”

After seeing Coker’s horrendous injuries and realising they could not move the massive chunk of masonry bearing down on his legs, the rescuers enlisted the help of the visiting surgeons to get him out.

“I didn?t know they were going to amputate my legs but I should have known,” he said. “They cut my trousers and they did that while I was still conscious.

“They had no choice.”

Australian doctor Stuart Philip described last week how he and his colleagues turned the ruined building into a makeshift operating theatre and used the basic tools available to perform the amputations.

“I’ve never been so frightened in my life, but we just kept going,” he told Australian public radio, saying a female New Zealand medic did most of the surgery because she could fit in the tight space in which Coker was trapped.

Coker said he would remain in hospital for several weeks while his stumps healed before beginning a long program of rehabilitation.

But while acknowledging his life would never be the same, he said his thoughts were focused on the people of Christchurch as the traumatised city is rattled by constant aftershocks, particularly those who had lost loved ones.

“My heart goes out to them,” he said. “I have colleagues who are injured and colleagues who are missing and my condolences go out to their families.”

Copyright © 2011 AFP. All rights reserved.
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Homemade meals are tied to special memories – Daily Mail

CHARLESTON, W.Va. — I spend more time every day, in one way or another, preparing food than anything else.  Whether I’m baking bread or milking the cow or doing the dishes (which I typically do two to three times a day), I’m somewhere in the process of preparing food.

Sometimes I get to the end of the day and all the food I spent the day preparing is gone, and I think: What have I done?  My work disappeared. There is no record of it. It was here then it vanished. Poof.

Then I remember.

Memories are made of food.  For some reason, whatever it is, human beings are tuned to create memories surrounding food.  Rare is the memory from my childhood that doesn’t have a food association, whether at the center of the memory or somewhere in the corner of it.

I will never, ever, make a biscuit as good as my mom’s biscuits. There was never a Saturday morning in my childhood that didn’t include biscuits. She used the end of a butter knife to make a hole and she would pour molasses in, until we were old enough to do it ourselves. I think I was an adult before I ever put butter on a biscuit. Biscuits were for molasses, poured into the hole. The molasses came from trips to West Virginia. Molasses was special. It was for Saturday mornings with biscuits.

Christmas was cookies, the ones my mom made every single year, same ones.  Thanksgiving was all about the dressing, made from biscuits or Grandmother Bread mixed with cornbread.

Birthdays were special cakes, whatever we requested, and whatever entree we wanted.  

I remember chicken fried in an iron skillet.

I’ll never forget the cottage cheese with cling peaches. And we had to eat it. (Why, Mom, WHY?)

My mom bought baby food jars of chocolate pudding until we were in junior high because we liked it.

We had homemade bread, thickly sliced with butter, at supper every night.

There was Martinsburg, W.Va., and the best food ever. For some time, my dad (who was a Church of Christ minister) was between churches and he took a job preaching for a small, struggling congregation in Martinsburg.

We lived in Silver Spring, Md., outside D.C.  Every weekend meant driving to Martinsburg. Sundays after morning service, the church members took turns taking us home.  The food was from the gods. They all had gardens and they all lived in white clapboard farmhouses. I would explore the grounds after lunch then play with my little Matchbox cars on their sloped walkways. They always had candy jars. Lunch was a spread of mythical proportions with all the garden-fresh produce and incredible pies and cakes.

Another food memory is popcorn balls at Christmas at my grandmother’s house in Illinois. She was an incredible cook.  She always served sherry to the grownups. When I was 12, she and my step-grandfather took me to a hotel for Easter brunch and let me have champagne; I’m not sure my parents ever forgave them. When I was little, my step-grandfather used to take me out and buy me baby dolls then take me to a pie shop.

Food, food, food. There is food in every memory somewhere.

What I do does matter, after all. Someday, somebody is going to remember it.

Writer Suzanne McMinn lives in Roane County, where she writes every day in her blog, Chickens in the Road, at www.chickensintheroad.com.

Insulting Chuck Lorre, Not Abuse, Gets Sheen Sidelined

But it may still be a “Two and a Half Men” world.

For eight very successful seasons, Charlie Sheen has been the star of “Two and a Half Men” which is produced by Warner Brothers and which is owned by Time Warner, and broadcast by CBS. Let’s ignore the mountains of cocaine that Mr. Sheen has admitted doing along the way — CBS and Warner Brothers certainly did.

In addition to wreaking all manner of havoc on himself with drugs and alcohol that has put him in the hospital and the show on hiatus, Mr. Sheen has done a lot of damage to the people around him, women in particular.

In 2006, his wife at the time, Denise Richards, filed a restraining order, charging that Mr. Sheen had pushed her down, thrown chairs at her and threatened to kill her in person and on the phone. The couple eventually divorced.

Mr. Sheen then had a series of very public relationships with sex film stars, which is certainly his prerogative — talent is as talent does — but he also continued to exhibit a pattern of violence toward women.

Mr. Sheen was charged with a felony for an incident on Christmas Day in 2009 in which he threatened to kill his wife, Brooke Mueller, while holding a knife to her throat. According to the police report, Mr. Sheen “started to strangle Mueller then he pulled out a knife he always carries on his person and held the knife to Mueller’s neck and threatened, ‘You better be in fear. If you tell anybody I’ll kill you.’ ”

Last fall, Mr. Sheen went on a rampage in the Plaza Hotel in New York. A hired escort who had locked herself in the bathroom claimed he had put his hands around her neck and threatened her while his former wife Ms. Richards and his children slept down the hall.

Yet none of these incidents got Mr. Sheen fired from his lucrative day job as a sitcom star, not even suspended. What did? He insulted his boss.

Last week, while vacationing on the Bahamas, Mr. Sheen got on the phone with a radio show host and called his boss, the executive producer Chuck Lorre, “a clown” and then went on to make what many saw as an attempt at a slur, calling Mr. Lorre “Chaim Levine.” Just in case people didn’t understand the true nature of his feelings, he told TMZ that “I violently hate Chaim Levine.”

CBS and Warner Brothers immediately pulled the plug on the season and issued a joint statement: “Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen’s statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Brothers Television have decided to discontinue production of ‘Two and a Half Men’ for the remainder of the season.”

CBS executives said that a human calculus was underway, that both companies were concerned about Mr. Sheen’s survival, not their business interests. But the business interests — hundreds of millions in broadcast and syndication revenue will be lost if the show is gone for good — continued to prevail even as he terrorized the women in his life.

CBS officials will not come near to making any statements on the record because they are convinced, given the antagonisms in the air, that the matter will end in court. They did point out that for a guy who was supposedly ready and willing to go to work in a week, Mr. Sheen has a funny way of showing it.

In addition to attacking Mr. Lorre and generally acting like a megalomaniac to almost anyone with a microphone, Mr. Sheen said that recovery programs are for losers and said that he had somehow managed to cure himself of the scourge of addiction “with his mind.” That usually doesn’t work out too well in my experience.

“There’s lots of stars who have problems,” said Tony Angellotti, a veteran Hollywood publicist. “But when they walk back on that set, they are expected to pull it together because so much is at stake, and most of them pull it off. He said the kind of things that make it hard for him to work with the boss of the show.”

And that is the real human calculus here: the companies are being forced to pick sides between Mr. Sheen and Mr. Lorre. In a town that lives for hits and can’t seem to find them, Mr. Lorre has helped create not only “Two and a Half Men,” but “Grace Under Fire,” “Cybill,” “Dharma Greg,” “The Big Bang Theory” and “Mike and Molly.”

So the message from CBS and Warner Brothers seems clear: abuse yourself and the women around you to your heart’s content, but do not attack the golden goose.

We can all nod and wink and say “it’s Hollywood, what do you expect?” CBS and Time Warner may be in the entertainment business, but they are both publicly traded companies with shareholders, corporate ethics policies and, one presumes, many female employees who don’t particularly care to see a highly paid employee (Mr. Sheen, between his share of syndication and a salary of $1.2 million per episode, makes enough to put him at the top of the food chain in most of corporate America) continually threaten to use women as punching bags.

Last year, Mark Hurd, then chief executive Hewlett-Packard, resigned after an investigation into allegations of sexual harassment made by a consultant to the company. True, Mr. Hurd received a nice fat package and became a co-president at Oracle almost immediately. But there were no allegations of assault and he was still held to account for what he described as failing to “live up to the standards and principles of trust, respect and integrity” he had set at the company.

In 2007, Chris Albrecht, then chairman of HBO, which is owned by Time Warner — yes, that Time Warner — was asked to resign after he was arrested and charged with assaulting a woman in a Las Vegas parking lot. Even though Mr. Albrecht had played a large role in developing the paid cable network and hits like “Sex and the City” and “The Sopranos,” his behavior, coupled with past incidents of domestic abuse, was deemed unacceptable.

Is Mr. Sheen excused because he manufactures laughs, not widgets, for a living? For years on the show, Mr. Sheen has been playing to type as a naughty boy in a man’s body: the result was often scabrous and funny and a hit in the ratings. It also fits another depressing pattern. From “Animal House” to Howard Stern, from “Pretty Woman” to “The Hangover,” Hollywood has long had a soft spot for male misbehavior and, in claiming to parody childish misogyny, it seems to provide an excuse to indulge in it further.

Hollywood likes to pretend it has grown up and taken its seat in corporate America. But it hasn’t when it comes to violence toward women. Mr. Sheen may have gone off-script last week. But in his attitudes toward women both on and off screen, he’s right on message.

E-mail: carr@nytimes.com; twitter.com/carr2n

One sharp businessman: Yale knife-maker sells to sportsmen and military personnel

Yale knife-maker sells to sportsmen and military personnel

Charles E. Ramirez / The Detroit News

Yale — Mike Morris thought he’d take a stab at knife making in 1984. And nearly 30 years later, the 48-year-old from Yale has turned what was a hobby into a small business that sells hunting and combat knives around the world.

Morris said he made his first knife when he was living in Southern California and working in an oilfield machine shop.

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“I saw an old-timer who I worked with make a knife out of an old worn-out file, and I thought, ‘Oh man, that’s so cool, I’m going to do that,’” he said.

Morris has been making knives ever since, but it really had been just a hit-or-miss hobby, he said.

Then about seven years ago, he made a knife as a gift for his brother, Morris said. “I showed it to some of my friends, and they encouraged me to start selling them.”

Today, his hobby is a full-time business. He estimates he’s made more than 2,000 knives and sold them to customers across the country and as far away as Africa, Europe and Japan.

His clients are typically sportsmen and military personnel.

The knives are 6-8 inches long and cost from $60 to $160. He sells them at trade shows and through his website, www.michaelmorrisknives.com.

He creates the knives out of old files or rasps used to trim horse hooves. The tools are typically made out of high-carbon steel, which makes them tough, sharp and durable, he said.

Morris fashions every part of his knives: the blades and the handles, even the sheaths.

The sporting knife industry is big business in the United States. It generates more than $986 million a year, according to the American Knife and Tool Institute. The Cody, Wyo.-based trade group estimates that more than 35.6 million Americans own pocket knives.

Keith Hannen, 31, of Saginaw, said he bought a Morris knife this year after noticing the bladesmith’s name in online forums.

An avid sportsman involved in Boy Scouts, Hannen said he can’t wait to take the friction-folder knife on his next camping trip.

The telecommunications worker said he will recommend Morris and his knives to others.

The knife Hannen bought has a honey-brown handle and is “just a very nice-looking pocket knife,” he said. “I wanted something a little nicer than what just anyone could buy.”

cramirez@detnews.com

(313) 222-2058

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Why Jamie’s knives are out for Sarah Palin

The froot-loop is a breakfast cereal full of sugar and containing a bewildering selection of processed grains made attractive to children with the addition of salt, colouring, and fruit flavours. In the world of Jamie Oliver, it’s also a term of abuse which can be accurately applied to Sarah Palin.

Britain’s fiercest crusader for healthy eating is at the centre of one of the many fierce disputes which now define America’s fractured political landscape, after using an appearance in Miami to criticise the former Governor of Alaska’s attempts to disrupt a White House campaign against childhood obesity.

Ms Palin is among a selection of big-hitters from the Tea Party movement who have been highly critical of the “Let’s Move!” initiative spearheaded by Michelle Obama, which aims to improve the nation’s calorie-laden diet.

During a QA session at a food festival on Saturday, Mr Oliver was asked what he thought about Palin’s stance. He took a deep breath before declaring: “clearly, on this issue, [she] is a fruit loop”.

The US is in a “really dark moment” on the issue of children’s health said Oliver, who has been filming a series of his Food Revolution TV show in Los Angeles. “The health situation isn’t allowing Americans to be Americans,” he said, adding that healthy eating was “a civil rights issue”.

Cue howls of outrage from supporters of Palin, who resent all criticism of their beloved “Mama Grizzly” – but are never more exercised than when her credibility and patriotism is attacked by an interfering foreigner.

Oliver’s comments gain potency since they play into a wider PR battle, which is pitting Mrs Obama and health officials against the forces of conservatism.

Every modern First Lady has spearheaded a social cause: Nancy Reagan ran the “just say no” campaign against drugs, Barbara and Laura Bush attempted to reduce childhood illiteracy, and Lady Bird Johnson planted flowers.

But while their efforts are traditionally applauded, Mrs Obama’s effort to make America’s children eat their vegetables has prompted a furious backlash from Republicans.

Commentators such as Glenn Beck (“Get away from my French fries, Mrs Obama!”) and Rush Limbaugh (“If we are supposed to eat roots, berries and tree bark, show us how!”) have fiercely criticised “Let’s Move!”.

Palin has claimed the First Lady “is telling us she cannot trust parents to make decisions for their own children, for their own families, in what we should eat.”

Renewable energy to create jobs for bush

A member of the multi-party climate change committee says the release of a climate think tank report shows the potential of renewable energy for rural regions of Australia.

Research from the Climate Institute released on Monday said about 31,000 jobs could be created in regional Australia by 2030 if a price is put on carbon and if clean energy policies are implemented.

Rural independent MP Tony Windsor said the release of the report reinforced his belief that investment in renewable energy would benefit the whole nation.

“For many years now, I have been preaching the gospel, I guess, of the enormous opportunities particularly for country people but for the nation generally in terms of renewable energy,” Mr Windsor told ABC Radio.

“Irrespective of who has been in government the hotchpotch of policy mixes really haven’t driven the agenda in a positive sense.”

Climate Institute chief executive John Connor said the research showed jobs could be created within Australia if a carbon tax was introduced.

“It is getting on with transforming the Australian economy,” he said.

Mr Windsor said the report identified some of the economic measures that could drive proposed changes for the economy.

“They don’t necessarily have to be driven through an emissions trading scheme or a price on carbon, they could be driven through better policy.”

Last week, Prime Minister Julia Gillard announced a carbon price would be introduced from July 2012, but decisions were yet to be made on what sectors would be included.

Police make push to find ‘East Coast Rapist’ via billboards, Web site

The billboards are the latest effort by law enforcement to identify the man who has sexually assaulted at least 12 women since the late 1990s. His last known rape was in Prince William County on Halloween in 2009, a brazen attack on three teenage girls headed home from a night of trick-or-treating. DNA evidence links the rapes.

Detectives in four states and FBI agents have been searching for the rapist, but they have not been able to name him. They say he is black and about 6 feet tall, and once had a badly chipped tooth. He often wore a ski mask or hat during attacks. He has used a knife, gun, screwdriver and broken bottle to overpower victims.

During the past year, detectives have closely focused on and ruled out more than two dozen men who fit the rapist’s description and who have connections to the locations where incidents have occurred since 1997: Prince George’s, Fairfax and Prince William counties, Leesburg, New Haven, Conn., and Cranston, R.I.

They have been narrowing their search by reviewing lists of tens of thousands of potential suspects, revisiting neighborhoods, reinterviewing witnesses and, ultimately, surveilling people and collecting their DNA.

Because the rapist has left his DNA behind, police can quickly rule out suspects and will know for certain when they find the attacker.

The new push for tips comes 16 months after the last confirmed attack – a relatively long span for the East Coast Rapist – and police hope to stir up new information with their public appeal.

“We want to put him on notice that these are still active cases, that police are right on his trail,” said Fairfax Detective John Kelly. “Maybe he’ll stay out of his next crime.”

The billboards direct people to visit a new Web site dedicated to the case, www.eastcoastrapist.com. The site provides detailed descriptions of the attacks, posts three composite sketches and gives users a link to report tips or suspicions. Fairfax County detectives said this is the first time they’ve used anything like it.

Detectives said they hope people will see the billboards, visit the site and provide the one tip that will lead to the rapist’s arrest.

“People can really be the detectives, in a sense,” said Lt. Bryan Holland of Fairfax’s cold-case squad.

Digital billboards in seven states, up and down Interstate 95, will feature the images, according to FBI spokesman Christopher Allen, who said one also will appear in Times Square. He said arrests in 39 cases – including that of the so-called Granddad Bandit bank robber – are attributed to tips from people who contacted authorities after spotting a billboard.

If I ran the Oscars: Ann Magnuson lets loose

Which films and performers from the past do you feel deserved the Oscar but didn’t receive one?

The late Maria Schneider deserves an honorary posthumous Oscar for this quote alone: “Never take your clothes off for middle-aged men who claim that it’s art.”

Chris Sarandon needs to be given his 1975 best supporting actor Oscar for his brilliant performance in “Dog Day Afternoon.”

The fashion parade on the red carpet seems to have become as important a part of the ceremony as the awards themselves. What dress code rules would you mandate there?

Tranimal! Let’s face it, most people only tune in to see what the stars are wearing. And the stars have been pretty boring, thanks to the play-it-safe stylists hired to dress them.

This must change! I would insist that a Tranimal Makeover Station be erected mid-way on the red carpet. The stars would arrive as usual, and everyone sees their initial ho-hum glamour choices. Then they enter the Tranimal Makeover Station! With the expert guidance of original Tranimal Jer Ber Jones, Squeaky Blonde and photographer Austin Young, plus several oil drums filled with M.A.C. gold glitter and an array of fake breasts that would raise Russ Meyer from the dead, each star would be ripped, dipped and suitably transformed into a creature best described as Leigh Bowery-meets-“Trout Mask Replica”-meets-“Goldfinger.” A Tranimal makes Lady Gaga look like Nancy Reagan.

So, who would be your dream host or presenters? Musical performers?

Lord Almighty, after the latest rant from Charlie Sheen, is there any other choice for the perfect host? Of course, everything he says would have to be close-captioned for those not fluent in Tweakinese.

Among the presenters, we must have Randy and Evi Quaid, of course. From the road, streaming live from whatever Canadian backwash they’re currently hiding out in. To introduce them, we’d put together an awesome “On the Lam” montage -– all the great clips for the classic couples-running-from-the-law flicks, like “Badlands,” “The Getaway,”  “Bonnie and Clyde,” “Thieves Like Us,” “The Sugarland Express,” “It Happened One Night” and “Smokey and the Bandit.”

After his impressively energetic performance on the Grammys, Mick Jagger should perform all the best song nominees, but only if Keith Richards is allowed to provide simultaneous commentary from the balcony above. Perhaps after Mick is finished, he can join Keith on the balcony and they can comment and squabble throughout the rest of the show. A perfect counterpoint to the Quaids. Toss in a little tag-team action from Ricky Gervais and Bill O’Reilly to keep pushing the ratings up, up, up!

But let’s forget the ceremony for a minute and ask me what I’d do if i ran the Oscar party.

Ann, the floor is yours.

I’d fete lifetime achievement honoree Jean-Luc Godard, who sadly is not attending the real ceremony, with a piece of performance art featuring my character, the Time Traveling Hooker.

The party takes place on the roof of the Standard Downtown. This time, the Way Back Machine is set to: The Future. The glittering cityscape view from the Standard Downtown roof is a ready made “Alphaville,” but just to drive the point home, we will project onto the building across from the Standard footage of the Time Traveling Hooker dressed as Anna Karenina and wandering among the futuristic buildings that double as L.A.’s subway stations. All filmed shot-for-shot like the Godard classic.

As Godard enters with his Oscar, the projected film switches to a live feed from the bowels of the hotel. But instead of the waiters and bellhops, we see hot babes changing into ’60s-era bikinis. The Time Traveling Hooker enters and changes into a Bardot-style swimsuit. She leads all the girls onto the rooftop where the party is now in full swing. They march in single file and assemble around the rooftop pool. Each girl has a Bowie knife in a sheath attached to her left thigh. It soon becomes apparent that we are reenacting the execution scene from “Alphaville” as a celebratory homage to the Oscar-winning director. He didn’t fly all the way to L.A. to go to some boring Governor’s Ball.

The Time Traveling Hooker greets our honored guest, then reads out the list of charges leveled at the young man standing on the diving board and dressed, “Reservoir Dogs” style, in a natty black suit with skinny tie. He is James Franco.

No, he is not being charged with crimes against performance art, but rather, with planning to star and direct a film about Richard Ramirez, a.k.a. “The Night Stalker.” We do not need more films about serial killers.

We feel certain Godard will agree and perhaps prod Franco off the diving board with the tip of his honorary Oscar’s head.

Franco falls into the pool, and all the girls dive in and stab him with their prop knives. The pool fills with the brightest red stage blood money can buy. Not realistic at all, but very Godardian, like the cherry red hues seen in “Pierrot Le Fou.”

Thus endeth our tribute. The video, shot from every conceivable angle by the multitude of camera phones now in everyone’s possession, is uploaded and played throughout the evening on the monitors and projected on the surrounding buildings as the DJ plays French yé-yé music mixed with the soundtrack from Godard’s film “Sympathy for the Devil.”

Ann, let’s give you the Lifetime Achievement Award this year, not only for your career accomplishments, but for this column alone. So let’s hear your acceptance speech.

Memo to A-listers: You, whose huge salaries have all but destroyed the middle-class actor’s ability to make a living, let alone scare up enough to remain eligible for health insurance: I hate to break it to you, but you are no different than the Wall Street bankers who set this country up for the current economic fall. In fact, Hollywood paved the way! You say you support the workers in Wisconsin? Then put down the Ayn Rand and take a close look at your own union! The Screen Actors Guild is a joke. How can you have a union where 90% of the membership is operating under the poverty line, and the rest are living like the Romanovs? Be rich, fine. But. You. Do. Not. Get. That.

Your absurdly high salary mandates everyone else get paid peanuts. Yes, we know it’s because your agents and managers want to live like movie stars too. Why don’t you just let them have their pound of flesh and then take the time to see if your supporting cast is getting paid what you remember wanting -– no, needing — to be paid back when you were struggling and barely making ends meet? I’m not asking you to take much out of your pot of gold. Keep your vintage car collection. Keep the palazzo on Lake Como. Keep playing the “aw shucks” common man or meth-head trailer trash hooker with a heart of gold to your heart’s content. Just toss the rest of us a few crumbs from Mt. Olympus. Take, I dunno, a measly 10% out of your check and tithe to the rest of the cast that makes you look good. Make like Jimmy Stewart in “It’s a Wonderful Life” instead of Malcolm McDowell in “Caligula.” We’ll even find a way to make it tax deductible so you will effectively save money.

I know! We’ll make a special award for it! You’ll get an honorary Oscar for being such a mensch. Best Redistribution of Wealth by a Greedy Bastard Pretending to be a Bleeding Heart Liberal. To quote Al Pacino in “Dog Day Afternoon,” “We’re dying here!”

Help your fellow actors. Please. We need our health insurance.

Thank you.

RELATED:

If I ran the Oscars: Exene Cervenka puts the red carpet on a budget

If I ran the Oscars: Comedian Jimmy Pardo wants his Mandy Patinkin

Illustrator Drew Friedman rethinks the Oscars

If I ran the Oscars: Comedian Jon Manfrellotti takes a shot

If I ran the Oscars: Pop maestro Kristian Hoffman goes for broke

– Paul Gaita

Photo credit: Austin Young

MELONI ANNOUNCES HARSHER PENALTIES FOR CARRYING KNIVES

16:14 27 FEB 2011

(AGI) Rome – Following the murder of a 27-year-old during a
fight outside a club in La Spezia, Minister Meloni has said
there will be harsher penalties for those illegally carrying
knives. “We will approve harsher penalties for the illegal
possession of knives. All too often in recent times, young
people have died meaninglessly during fights, Too many young
people carry knives, and when tey are angry these knives become
lethal weapons.” .
.
 

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Armed but not dangerous

Mass exodus

And so farewell to the 31 MPs who leave politics for bloated superannuation. Some, such as John Aquilina, will be weighed down by an annual salary of $150,000, having spent 29 years in parliament. Others, such as one-termer Phil Koperberg, receive a one-off payment of $35,000. It is the biggest exodus of NSW politicians in history. Kristina Keneally said 23 had headed for the door, although whether the figure included one of her political godfathers, Eddie Obeid, is unclear. He reportedly has resigned but does not want any announcement so as not to lose any of his backroom clout. Five Liberals, including former leader Peter Debnam, and two Nationals are also retiring. Most endured 16 years of hard Labor but, with light beckoning at the end of the tunnel, they have passed use-by dates. Meanwhile the Greens’s Ian Cohen, thrown overboard by his party’s ruling clique after being an upper house MP since 1995, will not get the opportunity to enjoy his payout. He lost a defamation case against developer Jerry Lee Bennette which cost him more than $1 million, mostly in legal fees. A question mark also hangs over Eric Roozendaal. Keneally has assured voters that her Treasurer will serve out eight years if elected. He has said nothing. His eligibility for a fully indexed pension in a few months makes the prospect of retirement rosy.

Kingston Road should go under the knife

Kingston Road should go under the knife

Jessica Moy
Published 27 February 2011

Change is inevitable. The only way to move this city forward is to bulldoze the old and build up the new.

Talks of redeveloping Kingston Road may become a reality, according to Ward 36 councillor Gary Crawford.

In getting rid of the unappealing buildings and concrete, Crawford wants to make this area a lot greener — and I couldn’t agree more. In the mid 20th century, this was the hotspot where tourists stayed travelling from Kingston to Toronto.

Decades later, the community has changed and currently consists of car dealerships, rusty motels and abandoned businesses.

It seems the land was also being used for families on welfare who started to live in the motels with no recreational activities near by.

To make it a place where families can go and enjoy the bike lanes and beautiful residential areas will definitely be an improvement to the overall feel of the area.

Businesses aren’t too keen on the idea, but if they can work with the redevelopment, they could potentially attract more customers with bigger and better workspaces.

If the timing and funds go smoothly — especially with the Pan Am Games coming up — I truly believe the reconstruction will work wonders for the Kingston Road community.

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Summertime and the stealing is easy

In many instances crime is a random and unforeseen event. It is often spontaneous and completely unpredictable.

A domestic argument gets out of hand and someone gets hurt. A dispute outside a bar turns ugly and someone pulls out a knife. A person is walking down the street and sees an unlocked car with a laptop sitting on the seat.

But, by collecting incidents of criminal behaviour and looking for trends and commonalities, we often start to observe specific patterns that should alert us to what may lie around the corner.

Sometimes we see certain types of crime become more common during shifts in the economy. Crime rates may spike in a particular jurisdiction on account of increased drinking and partying associated with an event such as the home team making a run for the Stanley Cup (fortunately there’s no such threat of that in this part of the country).

One of the best indicators that selected types of crime are soon to rise simply comes down to the time of year. And unfortunately, it’s just about upon us.

Summertime brings one of the most dependable assurances that criminal activity is about to jump.

The days are longer and the nights are warmer. People drink and socialize more. They spend more time outdoors and there are more events and activities that bring strangers together, adding to the potential for conflict. Families load up the trailer and take off for holidays and camping trips, leaving their home unattended and generally unwatched. Mountain bikes and other recreation equipment that have been under lock and key for the past six months are now laying about in plain view.

All this is compounded by the school calendar. All of the sudden the crime prone segment of youth have an additional seven hours a day to cause trouble.

Even kids who have curfews are generally given the go ahead to stay out later once school is out.

Interviews with chronic, drug addicted offenders shed further light on summertime activities.

One addict reported he kept a notebook of every address in the neighbourhood with a camper or trailer in the driveway and burglarized the residence as soon as it was gone. Another noted that garages and tool sheds are much less likely to be locked during summer.

Certainly, the summer season creates a multitude of opportunities to commit crimes not so easily engaged in during other times of the year.

But, there’s more than just opportunity at play here.

Warm weather tends to make us anxious, irritable and short-tempered. Watch what happens to people deprived of air conditioning on a hot day. Or take note of motorists’ behaviour when they’re stuck idling in the heat for twenty minutes on account of a road paving crew.

One major study of riots in the U.S. indicated riots and violent protests are most likely when the temperature is between 27C and 32C. But, as soon as the mercury exceeds 32C, people are too hot to bother.

The next time you want to know what’s happening with crime in the city, your best bet may very well be to flip over to the weather channel.

n John Martin is a criminologist at the University of the Fraser Valley and can be contacted at John.Martin@ufv.ca.

Flintknappers carry on a long, revered tradition

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Published: 2/26/2011 10:41 PM | Last update: 2/26/2011 10:50 PM

Flintknappers carry on a long, revered tradition

By Sam Cook – Duluth News Tribune

DULUTH, Minn. – Dave Schorn sits on a stool, whacking a piece of Danish flint with a heavy copper shaft called a billet. Flakes and chunks of the stone fall to the floor.

It is not hard to imagine a native hunter centuries ago in the Arctic or the American West using the base of an antler to perform exactly the same act — the making of a spear point or an arrowhead.

One significant difference separates Schorn’s labors from those of the native hunter: The hunter’s life depended on that point.

Now modern-day flintknappers such as Schorn of Silver Bay and Al Anderson of Duluth carry on the centuries-old tradition, creating arrowheads, spear points, hunting knives and daggers.

The two men sit in Anderson’s semi-warm garage on a January night, each working a respective rock. Nearby are samples of their work – the hefty Danish daggers that Schorn is known for in knapping circles and the handsome arrowheads that Anderson fashions.

Each is working a separate piece now, and chips of rock litter the floor beneath them.

Whack. Another large flake of flint hits the floor. Schorn looks at the rock remaining in his gloved hand.

“It’s knowing where to hit,” he said.

Creating a projectile point usually begins with this step, called direct percussion. Once the original stone is thin enough, Schorn or Anderson can put an edge on the stone by applying pressure with a pointed piece of copper or antler tine. That causes small flakes to come off the edge of the point, leaving a sharp edge that appears serrated. This finer work is called pressure flaking.

How sharp can such an edge get?

Schorn takes a piece of Anderson’s obsidian, a slick, black stone. He smacks it until he gets a thin flake. Using the edge of it, he makes several strokes on his wrist, removing all the hair and leaving only smooth skin behind.

“Obsidian is sharper than a man-made scalpel, better than any razor,” Schorn said.

Anderson discovered knapping about three years ago, when he came upon a flint-knapped knife at a summer festival in Ely. He bought it almost on the spot.

“I had to have that knife,” he said.

Soon afterward, he showed up at a “knap-in,” where flintknappers gather to admire one another’s work. Anderson asked if anyone taught the craft. Other knappers pointed him to Schorn, a kayak guide from Silver Bay. Anderson, a fisheries biologist for the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources at Finland, quickly took to the craft under Schorn’s tutelage.

“He’s the only student who’s come this far,” Schorn said. “They just give up. It’s not an easy thing to do.”

Now Anderson descends to his garage almost every evening to make points.

“It gets to be kind of addictive,” he said.

He finds that if he misses even a night or two, his skills begin to deteriorate, so he rarely skips a night. Sometimes he’s on. Sometimes he isn’t. When he surfaces from the garage, his wife, Deb, is apt to ask him, “Well, did you make an arrowhead or did you make gravel?”

Schorn, who has been knapping for 21 years, has earned a reputation in knapping circles for his Danish daggers, never used for killing but as symbols of status as early as 2400 B.C. He sells much of his work at rock shows and knap-ins. An arrowhead might bring $8 to $100 or more. The daggers fetch up to $1,000.

“It’s not about the money,” Schorn said, “but there is a market for it.”

Schorn and Anderson get their rock from all over the country — and the world. Paiute agate from Oregon. Georgetown flint from Texas. Novaculite from Arkansas or Oklahoma. Indiana hornstone. Florida chert.

Native flintknappers had to travel for days, perhaps weeks, to trade with others if they wanted to get rock from other regions. Not Anderson and Schorn. Theirs arrives in the mail, or they trade rock with other knappers at knap-ins.

Although today’s flint work is more art than utilitarian, it is created with a close eye on the real thing — samples of arrowheads and projectiles made by native people. Flint-knappers find excellent photos of those artifacts in Robert M. Overstreet’s “Indian Arrowheads,” the bible of actual projectile points found over the years. Those are the patterns that today’s flintknappers try to emulate in their art.

The appeal of arrowheads and projectile points is almost universal. Anyone lucky enough to stumble upon such an artifact considers it a prize. Anderson looked for arrowheads for years on his family farm in Kittson County. He never found one.

“Now I make my own,” he says.

Fewer cautions bring more stresses in NASCAR – The Virginian

AVONDALE, Ariz.

A decline in cautions is changing how drivers race, how crew chiefs make decisions and what happens at the end of NASCAR Sprint Cup races.

The average number of cautions per race declined 20 percent from 2007 through last season. That’s fewer times crew chiefs have to make adjustments on finicky cars and more times a driver races an ill-handling car.

“These cars are on such a knife’s edge for being really good or really bad that in one run you can make a bad car really good and vice versa,” AJ Allmendinger said.

Unless a car is way off, a team won’t risk the extra time on pit road for adjustments during green-flag pit stops.

Fewer cautions mean longer green-flag runs, and that also could impact the championship. Six of the final seven Chase races last year had at least one green-flag segment that went beyond a fuel run, meaning drivers had to pit under green. The one race that didn’t was Martinsville, which went caution-free the final 98 laps, something that doesn’t happen there often.

“The strategy has changed,” said Mike Ford, crew chief for Denny Hamlin. “It’s not so much just give the guy a good race car and he can go drive through the field. You’ve got to help him get there.”

“We need to be a little more aggressive on the adjustments at the earlier stages in the race,” added Darian Grubb, crew chief for Tony Stewart. “You make a big swing early to make sure you’re making progress. If you don’t, you have to go another route and you don’t have as many opportunities to try to go and fix that than you used to.”

While last weekend’s Daytona 500 saw a record 16 cautions, some of that can be attributed to the unique style of racing there.. The number of cautions in Cup has dropped each year since 2005 when there were 373 cautions (10.4 per race). Last year, there were 265 cautions (7.4 per race).

Ford said that he thinks this is because teams have done a better job getting their cars to handle well since the new chassis was introduced in 2007. He also said the changes now don’t need to be as dramatic as when the car first ran and teams were learning which adjustments worked.

Even if teams are smarter with the cars, it makes every pit stop important to find a way to move ahead of the competition.

Having fewer cautions also could favor veteran drivers, who raced when the equipment wasn’t as good and had to manage their cars. Mark Martin, in his 25th full-time season in Cup, said the trend helps him.

“The short, wild-burst runs were not my strong suit,” he said. “My strong suit is long runs, green-flag runs, managing the tires, managing the equipment.”

Bobby Labonte, entering his 19th full-time season in Cup, also said the trend favors his driving style, adding, “I hope it stays that way, personally.”

Ryan Newman, the defending winner of today’s race at Phoenix International Raceway, said that the longer green-flag runs have made him change.

“I think I’ve become a better driver at manipulating the race car with different lines,” he said. “I used to be a bottom feeder where I never ran the top (groove) or never thought about it. I think a lot of drivers have had to do that… run the middle and do different things that we hadn’t done with the other cars or hadn’t done because of the number of cautions or the way everything cycles.”

Newman admits it’s easy for a driver to change his line around the track; the key is to be fast doing it.

“There are some drivers that are much better at it than others,” he said. “Certain drivers, say Mark Martin is one of them, doesn’t like going to the top. He likes running the bottom, but if you see him on the top you know pretty much everybody is on the top. It’s just the way it works. There are things we as drivers have to use as gauges to figure out what a good line is, how hard to charge the corner.”

It’s not just the race where drivers and crews have to be better. It’s all weekend, Jimmie Johnson said.

“You’ve got to come off the truck and be right,” Johnson said. “Otherwise, you won’t be able to find your way back during the course of the weekend.”

And might not have enough chances to fix the car during the race.

Christchurch earthquake: Heroism, endurance and tragedy inside the Pyne Gould …

It was just before 1pm on Tuesday when the earthquake, which measured 6.3 on
the Richter Scale, turned what should have been a day at the office into a
frantic struggle for survival.

Roslyn Chapman, 30, was five hours into her very first day at her new job as
an accountant with the firm Leech Partners, based on the second floor.
She was at her desk waiting for a colleague to resume a training session as
the clock showed 12.51pm.

“The building just started moving quite violently,” she recalled. “At
first I wasn’t sure if it was just a minor tremor. Then I realised it was
major.”

It was not the first time that workers in the 1960s office building had
experienced an earthquake. After a 7.1 magnitude tremor last September, they
had joked that the only thing to fall in the building was a filing cabinet.
This time, though, was very different. The structure simply crumpled,
folding inwards around a central shaft.

Ms Chapman scrambled under her desk, but it began to collapse on top of her as
a mound of debris shut out the light. She pushed herself away, and found a
space to lie down.

“There were six of us,” said Ms Chapman, who was rescued eight hours
later. “We were able to call out to each other. We kept each other’s
spirits high… It was my first day on the job but I made some friends
pretty quickly.”

One of the six was Emma Howard, 23, another accountant. For most of the
morning, her mind had been on other things than work. It was only three days
until her wedding, and she was eagerly anticipating walking up the aisle at
Christ the King Catholic Church, wearing her strapless ivory gown and
celebrating with her friends and family.

Suddenly, she was thrown from her chair and took cover in a foetal position on
the floor, shortly before debris smashed her desk into pieces.

In desperation, she sent a text to her fiancé, Chris Greenslade, to try to
help him find her. “For about five hours, I thought I was going to die,”
said Ms Howard. “I went through crying fits.” With the help of
directions from her fiance, Ms Howard was rescued by a team which tore
through the roof with jackhammers.

On the first floor, Tracey Stanners, 28, was working in the office of Pyne
Gould Corporation, a financial advisory firm with almost 70 employees. A
data entry clerk, Ms Stanners had stayed at her desk while others went out
to buy their lunch. As the building collapsed around her, she found herself
trapped in darkness under her desk. She too began sending SOS text messages,
telling her family: “Trapped at work ceiling fell in on us can’t get
out,” it read.

“I was hysterical, I couldn’t really hear anything,” said Ms
Stanners. “The darkness really started getting to you.”

All around her, colleagues did their best to avoid panicking. “Stay awake
and keep breathing,” went the constant refrain.

Keeping calm was not easy. Near Ms Stanners, a 52-year-old colleague, who has
been named only as Brian, was in grave danger, his legs trapped beneath a
mass of mangled concrete slabs.

Dr Stuart Philip, a Brisbane-based urological surgeon, was in the city for a
conference and ran to the building with two other doctors. They spent five
hours crawling through debris to get to the survivors.

Dr Philip and his colleagues were forced to amputate Brian’s legs to free him,
with a female urologist using an army knife and a hacksaw.

“There really wasn’t any other option,” Dr Philip said. “Essentially
the procedure was performed with a Swiss army knife. A builder arrived with
a hacksaw. I know that sounds terrible, but that’s all we had.”

The first survivor to appear had been Kristy Clemence, who clambered through
the ceiling of the fourth floor onto the unstable rooftop just shortly after
the tremor had finished.

The 1960s building, as experts explained later, had “pancaked”
inwards. But amid the murky jumble of wiring and concrete, she spied what
seemed like a passageway leading to the sky, and clambered through to find a
flat section of roof.

Amid continuing aftershocks, she waited – the fear visible on her face – as
workmates shouted at her from the footpath below to avoid the roof’s edge.
Her anxious rescue onto a crane then played out live on television.

“I thought, I have to get out of the building,” she recalled later,
in a tearful interview. “Either the building is going to go down and I
am going to get crushed, or I’ll get electrocuted.

“I was able to climb through but my hair got caught on some wiring and it
stopped me from going forward. I remember ripping out a big chunk of my hair
to get out of the building. I was thinking about my daughter. Who’s going to
look after her? That gave me the strength to get through and be strong.”

It would be a long wait before any further survivors were seen emerging from
the building.

In dark pockets amid the debris, co-workers who survived communicated via
lights on their mobile phones and knocked pieces of concrete together to
guide rescuers by the noise. Some lay alone for more than 24 hours,
uncertain whether the building would cave in further or whether their cries
would ever be heard.

“It happened so quickly – it was like a bomb going off,” said
Paul Howison, a former teacher who worked on third floor at the Education
Review Office, a government department which reports on quality of schools.

“The floor went from underneath us and we fell some distance, and then a
concrete slab from the floor above came crashing down next to where we had
landed.”

Rescuers poked cameras through holes in the rubble to search for signs of
life. They sent in remote sound sensors, or yelled for any survivors to call
out or make a knocking sound. Frequent aftershocks also raised fears the
wreckage would further collapse. After each one, rescuers retreated from the
scene and used static lasers to see if anything had shifted.

Anne Vos, a 57-year-old from Australia, who switches from office work to
receptionist during the lunch hour, remained lying in the dark on the first
floor for 24 hours. Certain of death, she used her mobile phone to say her
last goodbye to her family. She then spoke to a Melbourne radio station.

“I hope someone knows I’m here,” she said on radio. “A couple
of hours ago, I thought that’s it. I managed to wiggle out a bit. Now I have
a wee bit of air here. I’m a bit happier … I’m not giving up now.”

Shortly after Ms Vos was dragged alive from the rubble. Then rescuers arrived
at the building’s last known survivor.

Two reporters were examining the building’s ruins when they heard a tapping
sound – and then a voice.

Deep inside the wreckage of Education Review Office on the third floor, Ann
Bodkin, 53, lay on her back, wet and cold from the sprinklers, in a quiet
vault she later described as a “concrete coffin”.

A small hole allowed in a ray of daylight and much-needed air. At 2.25pm, amid
cheers from onlookers, she was pulled out of the ruin.

“I thought, ‘I have air and room, I can survive this’,” she said. “I
pushed negative thoughts away and was determined to get out.”

Miss Bodkin’s extraction, 25-and-a-half hours after the quake, brought elation
to a nation that has endured its worst natural disaster.

But the boosted hopes were short-lived. Despite occasional rumours of
survivors in broken church spires or other crumpled buildings across the
city, no one has been found.

Three days after the earthquake, though, Emma
Howard pressed ahead with her marriage plans, determined that life should
carry on as normal. “I’m fortunate that everybody we invited
originally will be there,” she said. A bruise on her left arm was the
only sign of her ordeal.

Officiating at the ceremony, Father John Adams said: “We are affirming
that the final victory will go to love, not to despair.”

But for other families, the pain continues. Since the rescue of Ms Bodkin, no
more taps, text messages or voices have emerged from the rubble.

Among the dead was Philip McDonald, one of the directors of Leech Partners,
the second floor accountancy firm. Married to Sharon, Mr McDonald had three
children, Michael, Chantelle and Andrea.

Chantelle McDonald said a colleague told the family her father did not make it
out alive.

“She was talking to him and the next minute happened and she couldn’t see
anything. But she just reached out for his hand and…. she couldn’t feel a
pulse,” she said.

Mr McDonald was a sportsman with a passion for sailing and skiing. He was also
chairman of Mid Canterbury Rugby Union, and on the board of the Canterbury
Crusaders. “He was a great guy and board colleague and we will miss him
greatly,” said Murray Ellis, Crusaders chairman.

Adam Fisher, 27, a financial advisor with a fiancee and young son, worked on
the first floor and is still missing.

His mother, Gaye Fisher, appeared on national television last night and
pledged to keep hope of his survival. “If there is any message I can send
out to the families of other missing people it is – just be patient,” she
said.

Irish accountant JJ O’Connor was also still missing inside the building.

The 40-year-old moved to New Zealand with his New Zealand-born wife, Sarah,
last September to take up work. His wife is expecting their second child in
May. They already have a two-year-old son.

Catherine O’Connor, Mr O’Connor’s cousin, said: “We’re hoping for a miracle.
We’re all just hoping now.”

The majority of those killed were working on the first and second floors, as
the building crumpled on top of them. No one based on the third floor
Education Review Office died – partly because they had less debris falling
on them, and also because many of them were out on school visits.

Mark Maynard’s wife, Kelly, who had just started working the week before as a
legal executive on the first floor, rang him 20 minutes before the quake to
say she left her mobile phone at home. There has been no word since.

On Thursday, he returned to the building with a rose from his garden, which he
handed to a rescuer to place on top of the site.

Yesterday, a team of British rescuers was searching for her body.

“It’s a waiting game.” he told The Sunday Telegraph. “I’ve got
two daughters and I need to continue for the kids.”

Asked if he held any hope that his wife could be recovered, he said: “No.
When you look at the building, there is no way.”

Fun Aunt Lori walks the line

I love that my two nieces always have seen me as “Fun Aunt Lori.” For Cara and Katelyn, there always are ample supplies of bubbles, sidewalk chalk, sprinkles for sugar cookies and glitter for Easter eggs at Fun Aunt Lori’s house. We splash each other in the pool, spray each other with whipped cream for dessert and share our silly stories and secrets. Katelyn’s framed artwork is above my desk, and I keep a hula hoop in the garage for Cara.

It is because I don’t have the responsibility of turning out responsible, caring, well-mannered young ladies that I get to be Fun Aunt Lori, leaving those weightier tasks to their mommy, my little sister (who was an absolute terror as a little girl and deserves most of what her girls do to her). But a test I recently endured because of a smiley face whistle birthday party favor had me walking a very thin line.

Katelyn knew if there was a cord to be had for her new smiley face whistle necklace, Fun Aunt Lori would have one stashed away. As she and the rest of the family readied to go shopping, my sister whispered to me that perhaps rather than finding a cord for the whistle, I might just lose the offending favor or in some way destroy the thing while they were away. Thus began my moral dilemma.

Drawing on many a class in philosophy, ethics and humanities, I knew I could not jeopardize my Fun Aunt Lori status with Katelyn or her trust. On the other hand, I, too, despise whistles of any sort and think parents should eschew from giving noise-making favors that might cause unpleasant thoughts in the invitees’ parents. I decided my right thing to do was to keep the whistle intact, apply the promised length of cord so Katelyn could wear it, but to surreptitiously mangle its mechanics so as to make it more a whisperer than a whistler.

As the front door shut and the shoppers departed, I sidestepped the indoor barrel-racing dogs and gathered my surgical implements — an old clamp, a nail file, trauma shears and, as a last resort, a fillet knife that has sent other family members to the emergency room for stitches. I hoped it would not come to the fillet knife, but the little whistle-making ball inside would have to either come out or be radically altered. I adjusted the light, donned glasses and went to work. The little ball must have been made of kryptonite for all my efforts were in vain until I resorted to the wickedly sharp little fillet knife. Using it clamped between my expensive orthodontics while one hand held the little ball in the tiny clamp and the other hand steadied the fragile little plastic whistle with its smiley face mocking me, I was not surprised when the knife slipped and made a neat incision on the palm of my hand. Because the fillet knife is so very sharp, there was not much pain.

The pain came a little while later after I gave Katelyn her now non-whistling necklace, tied in a bow just as I had promised her, a symbol of my moral compass, only a little compromised. “Cool, it’s even better now. It hisses! I love you, Aunt Lori,” Katelyn told me with her funny missing front teeth grin. “Because I’m so much fun?” I asked her, tickling her a little. “No, because you’re so weird,” she replied.

That’s it. The high road is too hard and not nearly fun enough. Formerly fun, but presently Weird Aunt Lori is in the market for some kazoos if anyone has a line on them.

Family under attack stops serial killer

(CBS News) 

Produced by Chris Young and Anthony Venditti

What if someone wants you dead… but you live to tell? Shea McDonough, 15 at the time, and her parents recount their harrowing story of survival – their firsthand account of how they stopped a serial killer in his tracks… and saved an innocent man accused of murder.

Shea McDonough: I try to avoid 495 at all times … because it reminds me of a very bad thing that happened to my family and I.

Jeannie McDonough | Shea’s mother: Living close to the highway, I never really thought about safety factors.

CHELMSFORD, MASSACHUSETTS | JULY 29, 2007

Kevin McDonough | Shea’s father: It was Sunday night and we had just returned home from dinner. Jeannie decided to stay up and watch the Red Sox game and I turned in early.

Jeannie McDonough: The weather was very hot. It was extremely oppressive.

Shea came home. At her curfew. She has a 12 o’clock curfew. She actually came home probably about 15 minutes beforehand.

Shea McDonough: To me, I was like, “Oh, I’m doing good! I’m doing good on time!”

I came in and I went straight to the back door just to see if it was unlocked. And I just left it unlocked … thinking that my brother was coming home that night. I wanted to make sure that he wasn’t going to text me two hours later being like, “Hey Shea, can you come unlock the door? It’s locked.”

Jeannie McDonough: Shea was being a good sister and looking out for her big brother.

I neglected to tell her that Ryan had called earlier in the evening and said that he was going to spend the night at his friend Ricky’s house.

I don’t think anyone ever prepares for anything like this to happen to them.

I heard a muffled sound. Like a little whimper … come from the bedroom right next to us. And I thought that was odd… Shea must be having a bad dream or something. And Kevin got up at the same time.

Kevin McDonough: She said, “I’ll check on her.” And I said, “No, I’ll check on her,” which really isn’t the norm. Usually I’m selfish and want to get all the sleep I need. …But that morning something told me to get up. I got up and my wife Jeannie followed me in there.

I opened up the door and I saw a black silhouette over my daughter.

Shea McDonough: I woke up in the middle of the night to a cold object on my neck. I thought it was a gun. I didn’t know it was a knife. I just saw dark eyes and a mask.

The man spoke and it was a voice that I had never recognized before. And he said, “if If you make any f—ing noise I’m going to kill you.” And that’s when I just kinda went into panic mode. …And I just started kicking. And I just pushed my back against the bed, hoping to make as much noise as possible, so my parents could wake up and hear me.

And my dad – the first thing I heard him say was, “Who are you?” The man stood up from leaning over me and just went straight for my dad.

Jeannie McDonough: And we saw a knife in his hand…

Police: Pot dealer kept plants, knives in 6-year-old’s room – Williamsport Sun

A 28-year-old father was arrested and jailed Saturday after undercover officers from the Lycoming County Drug Task Force discovered 38 marijuana plants and two switchblade-type knives in the bedroom of his 6-year-old son, city police said.

Samuel Joseph Saldivar, 1451 Memorial Ave., has been charged with three counts of possession with intent to deliver marijuana and one count each of delivery of marijuana, endangering the welfare of a child and illegal use of the cell phone.

Investigators said they seized more than three dozen marijuana plants from the bedroom of Saldivar’s son after obtaining a search warrant to enter the premises. The pants were being grown in large-sized soda cups, police said.

From Saldivar’s bedroom closet, officers took control of a safe that contained more than a pound of marijuana and an estimated $2,000 of suspected drug money, police said.

When officers raided the home, Saldivar’s son and 8-year-old daughter were in the house, police said. The county’s Children and Youth Department were notified. The children’s mother, who does not live with Saldivar, took custody of the two, police said.

Police began an investigation earlier this month after receiving a tip that Saldivar had allegedly been selling marijuana on a weekly basis for about a year to an informant.

Officers set up “a controlled buy” in which an informant purchased $50 worth of marijuana from Saldivar at Saldivar’s home on Thursday, police said.

Saldivar, who said he was a self-employed painter, was arraigned before District Judge James G. Carn and committed to the Lycoming County Prison in lieu of $25,000 bail.

This was the second major arrest of an alleged marijuana dealer and the third drug arrest that the task force made in three days.

On Friday morning, the task force charged Andrea P. Lopez, 35, a homeless woman formerly of Berger Street, of allegedly selling nine bags of heroin to an informant from her former home on Nov. 13. She remains jailed on parole violation and $18,500 bail.

Family’s Night Of Terror Ends Crime Spree Of Serial Killer From NC

Lowell, MA — Saturday on 48 Hours Live to Tell: A 15-year-old girl and her parents summon the courage to stop a serial killer in his tracks. The alleged serial killer is Adam Leroy Lane from Jonesville, NC.

Click on 48 Hours Live to Tell to watch preview.

Lane was arrested in July 2007 after he entered a home through an unlocked door and held a knife to the throat of a 15 year-old girl, threatening to kill her if she made any noise. The teenager did make enough noise to stir her parents who walked in on Lane while he was threatening their daughter.

Lane was eventually tied to other attacks and murders in the New England area and has since been convicted.

But, the McDonough’s family night of terror brought an end to a suspect that law enforcement dubbed serial killer.

You can watch this amazing story tonight on 48 Hours on WFMY News 2/CBS at 10 p.m.

Background:
While Jeannie McDonough’s husband struggled to hold down the masked intruder who had attacked their sleeping daughter, the man tried to convince the mother to let him walk away.

“He said he was nobody and to just let him go,” McDonough said.

But McDonough knew she couldn’t let Adam Leroy Lane escape. What she wouldn’t learn until later was that her family had helped capture a man suspected in a string of unsolved crimes along the East Coast.

Lane, a 43-year-old truck driver charged in the murder of a New Jersey woman, pleaded guilty Tuesday to attacking 15-year-old Shea McDonough with a knife in the Chelmsford home invasion.

“I thank God every day that I didn’t listen to your misguided words,” Jeannie McDonough said in court.

Lane, of Jonesville, NC, entered guilty pleas to nine of 10 charges against him in the July 30, 2007 attack, including home invasion, armed assault in a dwelling, assault with intent to murder and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon. Prosecutors agreed to drop a charge of assault with intent to rape a child.

He was immediately sentenced to 25 to 30 years in prison. Lane also has been charged with murder in the stabbing death of Monica Massaro, 38, in her Bloomsbury, NJ, home during the same weekend he attacked the girl in Chelmsford. Authorities in Pennsylvania and North Carolina have said they also are investigating Lane in connection with other unsolved crimes. In court, Assistant District Attorney Kerry Ahern outlined Lane’s actions that night. When the judge asked Lane if the description was fair and accurate, Lane said, “pretty much.”

Lane was arrested July 30 after he broke into the home of Jeannie and Kevin McDonough in the middle of the night. Authorities had said Lane, who was wearing a mask and gloves, tried to rape the couple’s 15-year-old daughter, Shea, but her parents heard her cry and found Lane on top of her with a knife. The McDonoughs said Tuesday they might never have heard their daughter’s muffled scream if their air conditioner had not been broken that night.

Kevin McDonough seized Lane and held him in a headlock on the floor, and Jeannie McDonough cut her hand when she grabbed the knife’s blade during the struggle. Shea, now 16, ran out of the house and called police.

“I’m a pretty strong guy but I felt like Hercules that night,” Kevin McDonough said Tuesday.

When asked what she recalled from that night, Shea said, “just being scared.”

“But I knew everything was going to work out, and it did,” she said. “I feel very fortunate.”

Lane was carrying knives, choke wire and a belt with Chinese throwing stars during the attack, police said.

In the cab of his truck parked at a rest area on nearby Interstate 495, police found a copy of the DVD “Hunting Humans,” a movie about a serial killer who picks his victims at random. Ahern also said authorities suspect Lane tried to break into a trailer home less than a mile from the McDonough’s home earlier in the night.

In court, Jeannie McDonough glared at Lane as she described the psychological trauma the attack caused.

“Realize this, Adam Leroy Lane, that someday you will be held accountable — not only in a court of law,” she said.

About a month after Lane’s arrest in Massachusetts, he was charged in Massaro’s killing. Pennsylvania authorities said they were investigating Lane in connection with the July 13 fatal stabbing of Darlene Ewalt, 42, in her West Hanover Township house, and the July 17 slashing of a Conewago Township woman who survived.

Lane has been held without bail in Massachusetts since his arrest.

New Jersey prosecutors said that under an interstate agreement, they expect to bring Lane to that state to face charges in Massaro’s killing once he begins serving his sentence in Massachusetts.

Middlesex District Attorney Gerry Leone said his office is continuing to work with authorities along the East Coast where Lane is a suspect in other crimes, but Leone refused to give details.

Leone said he did not know when Lane would be returned to New Jersey, but it was just a matter of working out the logistics.

WFMY News 2

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Libya: two AI flights bring 540 Indians back

Priyanka Dube , CNN-IBN
Updated Feb 27, 2011 at 08:22am IST

Video

New Delhi: Mohd Sali, 63, the first man to walk out of Air India’s special flight from Libya in Delhi. He had a horrific story to tell.

Sali recolelcted, “One man came and put the knife on my neck like this. He took all my belongings – laptop, chain, even my car. We heard gunshots every day. I went under a container and stayed there. Somehow we managed to escape.”

There were similar stories from the over 500 Indian citizens – among the first to be evacuated by the Indian government from Libya. All of them remembering the last few days there, when they were not even sure whether they would be alive the next day.

Click to play videoNew Delhi: Mohd Sali, 63, the first man to walk out of Air India’s special flight from Libya in Delhi. He had a horrific story to tell.Sali recolelcted, “One man came and put the knife on my neck like this. He took all my belongings – laptop, chain, even my car. We heard gunshots every day. I went under a container and stayed there. Somehow we managed to escape.”There were similar stories from the over 500 Indian citizens – among the first to be evacuated by the Indian government from Libya. All of them remembering the last few days there, when they were not even sure whether they would be alive the next day.

Dr Sajjan Lal said, “They have to be evacuated. People who live far away have problems – they have no water or food.”

Indian authorities have now got permission to operate two flights every day for the next 12 days to bring back Indians stranded in Libya. The rest, they say will be brought back by ship.

These people witnessed riots, looting, even murder. They have left behind their homes, their assets and jobs back in Libya a country they all went to hoping to make a better life in. But now as they return to India, they say, even if the situation gets better, there is no going back.

It is a happy homecoming for the first few hundred who have been successfully evacuated from Libya. But with a contingent as large as 18000 citizens still stuck there, the task the authorities have, is not going to be an easy one.

More on: Libya, Air India, India, Libya Unrest, Gaddafi, Arab Unrest, World, US, Navy

48 Hours: Family’s Night Of Terror Ends Serial Killer From NC Crime Spree

Lowell, MA — Saturday on 48 Hours Live to Tell: A 15-year-old girl and her parents summon the courage to stop a serial killer in his tracks. The alleged serial killer is Adam Leroy Lane from Jonesville, NC.

Click on 48 Hours Live to Tell to watch preview.

Lane was arrested in July 2007 after he entered a home through an unlocked door and held a knife to the throat of a 15 year-old girl, threatening to kill her if she made any noise. The teenager did make enough noise to stir her parents who walked in on Lane while he was threatening their daughter.

Lane was eventually tied to other attacks and murders in the New England area and has since been convicted.

But, the McDonough’s family night of terror brought an end to a suspect that law enforcement dubbed serial killer.

You can watch this amazing story tonight on 48 Hours on WFMY News 2/CBS at 10 p.m.

Background:
While Jeannie McDonough’s husband struggled to hold down the masked intruder who had attacked their sleeping daughter, the man tried to convince the mother to let him walk away.

“He said he was nobody and to just let him go,” McDonough said.

But McDonough knew she couldn’t let Adam Leroy Lane escape. What she wouldn’t learn until later was that her family had helped capture a man suspected in a string of unsolved crimes along the East Coast.

Lane, a 43-year-old truck driver charged in the murder of a New Jersey woman, pleaded guilty Tuesday to attacking 15-year-old Shea McDonough with a knife in the Chelmsford home invasion.

“I thank God every day that I didn’t listen to your misguided words,” Jeannie McDonough said in court.

Lane, of Jonesville, NC, entered guilty pleas to nine of 10 charges against him in the July 30, 2007 attack, including home invasion, armed assault in a dwelling, assault with intent to murder and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon. Prosecutors agreed to drop a charge of assault with intent to rape a child.

He was immediately sentenced to 25 to 30 years in prison. Lane also has been charged with murder in the stabbing death of Monica Massaro, 38, in her Bloomsbury, NJ, home during the same weekend he attacked the girl in Chelmsford. Authorities in Pennsylvania and North Carolina have said they also are investigating Lane in connection with other unsolved crimes. In court, Assistant District Attorney Kerry Ahern outlined Lane’s actions that night. When the judge asked Lane if the description was fair and accurate, Lane said, “pretty much.”

Lane was arrested July 30 after he broke into the home of Jeannie and Kevin McDonough in the middle of the night. Authorities had said Lane, who was wearing a mask and gloves, tried to rape the couple’s 15-year-old daughter, Shea, but her parents heard her cry and found Lane on top of her with a knife. The McDonoughs said Tuesday they might never have heard their daughter’s muffled scream if their air conditioner had not been broken that night.

Kevin McDonough seized Lane and held him in a headlock on the floor, and Jeannie McDonough cut her hand when she grabbed the knife’s blade during the struggle. Shea, now 16, ran out of the house and called police.

“I’m a pretty strong guy but I felt like Hercules that night,” Kevin McDonough said Tuesday.

When asked what she recalled from that night, Shea said, “just being scared.”

“But I knew everything was going to work out, and it did,” she said. “I feel very fortunate.”

Lane was carrying knives, choke wire and a belt with Chinese throwing stars during the attack, police said.

In the cab of his truck parked at a rest area on nearby Interstate 495, police found a copy of the DVD “Hunting Humans,” a movie about a serial killer who picks his victims at random. Ahern also said authorities suspect Lane tried to break into a trailer home less than a mile from the McDonough’s home earlier in the night.

In court, Jeannie McDonough glared at Lane as she described the psychological trauma the attack caused.

“Realize this, Adam Leroy Lane, that someday you will be held accountable — not only in a court of law,” she said.

About a month after Lane’s arrest in Massachusetts, he was charged in Massaro’s killing. Pennsylvania authorities said they were investigating Lane in connection with the July 13 fatal stabbing of Darlene Ewalt, 42, in her West Hanover Township house, and the July 17 slashing of a Conewago Township woman who survived.

Lane has been held without bail in Massachusetts since his arrest.

New Jersey prosecutors said that under an interstate agreement, they expect to bring Lane to that state to face charges in Massaro’s killing once he begins serving his sentence in Massachusetts.

Middlesex District Attorney Gerry Leone said his office is continuing to work with authorities along the East Coast where Lane is a suspect in other crimes, but Leone refused to give details.

Leone said he did not know when Lane would be returned to New Jersey, but it was just a matter of working out the logistics.

WFMY News 2

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Report: Man who faked stabbing here being investigated for child porn

IOWA CITY, Iowa — A University of Iowa researcher who faked his own stabbing in Chicago last year learned the day before that he was under investigation by campus police for child pornography, according to a police report made public Friday.

The Chicago Police report, first obtained by The Daily Iowan, exposed the subject but few other details about an investigation that both Dr. Gary Hunninghake and the university have tried for months to keep secret. Meanwhile, Hunninghake has earned more than $300,000 since being put on paid leave because of the inquiry.

UI Public Safety announced in November that it had ended a seven-month investigation into Hunninghake, and that local and federal prosecutors had declined to charge him. But until Friday, the university and one of its top researchers had successfully kept any information about the case under wraps, which led to widespread speculation about the subject.

The report shows UI Police officers investigating child pornography allegations served search warrants at Hunninghake’s office and home on April 23. His wife called Hunninghake to tell him about the warrants, and he was placed on paid leave from his job as director of the UI Institute for Clinical and Translational Science that day, the police report said.

Less than 24 hours later, Hunninghake was supposed to be attending a conference in Chicago when he showed up at an emergency room with stab wounds to his chest, abdomen and shoulder. He told authorities he had been robbed and stabbed by three white assailants while jogging in downtown Chicago, a claim that prompted a manhunt, generated intense media coverage and scared the public.

UI Associate Director of Public Safety Bill Searls alerted Chicago investigators on April 26 about the child pornography investigation, saying he questioned the validity of the stabbing report given its timing after the search warrants were served. Hunninghake had told UI Police detectives about the incident, and his story to them contained “numerous and blatant inconsistencies” with what he told Chicago police, the report said.

Confronted with those contradictions, Hunninghake told a Chicago detective he had made up the story and stabbed himself with a steak knife he had purchased and later threw in the river, the report said. Asked whether he was trying to kill himself or gain sympathy, Hunninghake told police “he was not sure what he was trying to (do) and explained that he was in a strange state of mind when he did this.”

The report does not elaborate on what sparked the pornography investigation or include any other details about it. The university has refused to elaborate and Hunninghake, a professor of medicine who has been on leave for 10 months earning his $360,000 annual salary, has declined interview requests.

His attorney, Leon Spies, stressed in an interview Friday the child pornography investigation did not turn up any evidence of criminal wrongdoing. He said investigators had probable cause to conduct the search, but they may have jumped the gun.

“The university for years and years held itself out as being a community, and I would like to think that a community of caring professionals . . . would reach out and ask questions before acting precipitously,” Spies said. “Whether it’s overreaching or not, certainly from Dr. Hunninghake’s perspective and the interests of not only him but the people who care about him, I wish it had been handled differently.”

Spies has filed paperwork to seal the search warrants and a lawsuit seeking to block the university from releasing information about the pornography investigation, arguing it would destroy Hunninghake’s reputation as an educator and scientist. An assistant state attorney general representing the university indicated last month the school wouldn’t fight the petition, saying he may have grounds to shield the records being sought by the news media. A hearing is set for April 1.

Hunninghake was charged with making a false police report in Chicago, a felony, and agreed to turn himself in. Under a plea agreement in January, he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct and was sentenced to probation and 40 hours of community service and ordered to pay $15,565 to reimburse authorities for their search for the fictional assailants.

The institute Hunninghake once headed has hired an interim director. UI Vice President for Medical Affairs Jean Robillard said in an interview last month he didn’t know whether Hunninghake would ever return to work and his case was being handled by the provost’s office. Hunninghake has been at UI since 1981 and has researched asthma and lung disease, among other topics.

Hunninghake’s case and that of another professor — Toshiki Itoh, who was convicted of assaulting a female laboratory assistant last year — have sparked criticism from some Republican lawmakers that the university’s paid leave policies are too generous. Hunninghake has collected $300,000 while on leave. Itoh resigned Wednesday after being on leave since July 2008 and collecting more than $200,000 in salary while he was being prosecuted.

UI spokesman Tom Moore said first that the university was in the process of taking disciplinary action against Hunninghake, but added that Hunninghake remained a salaried university employee. Moore noted that, in general, faculty members accused of violating school policy have a right to a hearing before a panel of their colleagues before any action is taken.

Cover-up bid after knife murder

STEVE HOPKINS

A DRINKING session which turned into the bloody murder of an SAS-trainee has seen the ex-soldier’s mate convicted of the killing three years later.

On Wednesday a Rotorua High Court jury took just over three hours to convict artist Christopher Heenan of murdering former commando hopeful Raukawa Newton on October 11, 2007.

Heenan was found by police covered in blood near a slain Newton in the lounge of his Rotorua unit but the 51-year-old wasn’t charged until 18 months later.

Police enlisted the help of forensic experts from the UK and the FBI before laying the charge.

Invalid beneficiary Heenan claimed to have no memory of the night, which began as a friendly drinking session. He had 11 stab wounds when found by officers, and at one point claimed a third man had entered his home and knifed both him and Newton.

But during Heenan’s two-week trial, police told the court the artist’s injuries were self-inflicted and designed to make Newton’s murder look like self defence.

A police summary released to Sunday News ahead of Heenan’s trial said that following an argument, Heenan used his Leatherman tool knife to stab 38-year-old dad-of-four Newton. One blow penetrated his heart and Newton is estimated to have died within two minutes.

“Realising the enormity of his actions [Heenan]… decided to stage the scene in order to deflect his culpability,” the summary said.

Police said Heenan “positioned” Newton on his lounge floor, drank the remainder of a bottle of Jim Beam his guest had brought to his home, then turned a knife on himself. “He then self-inflicted 11 superficial stab injuries to his stomach, arm and abdomen.”

Newton’s mother, Charmaine Irimako Burnett, described her son’s murder as a “cold-blooded, cowardly, calculated and treacherous act” and hoped Heenan faced a heavy sentence. She said it was hard “knowing your son had been demeaned by the brutal act by this monster [who was] trying to deny that, saying my son attacked him.

“He died and he took his last breath of life lying in the pool of his own blood.”

Newton’s father David told Sunday News waiting for Heenan to face the courts had “been a long, hard road”, made worse by the fact Heenan “was a cheeky little bugger who acted like he’d got away with it.

“It fractured my marriage. I didn’t want to speak to people. It was tragic. But I had to let justice take its course and justice won out in the end.”

David said his son had respected Heenan for his artistic ability, which made the slaying even more “unfortunate”.

Whakatane health and social worker Charmaine said she would attend Heenan’s March 3 sentencing to ensure he received a genuine life term.

David agrees: “Hopefully life means life for him.”

– Sunday News

Eriberto Smith goes on trial for arson, burglary

• 
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A jury trial got under way Tuesday at Carlton County Court for Eriberto Martinez Smith, 23, who is charged with felony first-degree arson and second-degree burglary.

Smith allegedly set fire to his girlfriend’s home on the Fond du Lac Reservation and had to be dragged out by emergency personnel in the early morning hours of Sept. 19, 2010, after allegedly entering the home against her wishes and when no one else was at the residence.

The trial began Tuesday with opening arguments from the prosecution, County Attorney Thom Pertler, and the defense, attorney Jennifer Barry. Pertler explained how he planned to show that Smith is guilty “beyond reasonable doubt” through testimony from approximately eight witnesses, as well as video footage from Cloquet Police Sgt. Carey Ferrell’s squad car. Pertler described in some detail the events of Sept. 18-19, from the point where Smith’s girlfriend (and mother of his two children) Alyssa Peterson told Smith to leave the property when he changed his mind about watching their children, on to an encounter between the two outside Mike’s Bar in Cloquet, and ultimately to Smith’s cutting his wrist and the complete destruction of the home at 1794 Coffey Road.

Barry reminded the jury that Smith is presumed innocent, and predicted that the evidence will not show that Smith entered the residence without permission or with the intention of committing a crime. She also said the cause of the fire was “pure speculation,” as was the assertion that Smith started the fire.

Peterson was the first witness in the trial. A petite 23-year-old woman, she spoke softly on the stand as she described the events of the evening, confirming that she had told Smith not to come back to the house after he reneged on an agreement to watch their children while Peterson went out with her cousin, Denise Diver. Later the two cousins would find Smith outside the bar, rummaging through Peterson’s car.

Diver was the second witness. She also testified that Peterson had told Smith not to return, adding that she had taken his clothes out of the residence and put them in her truck sometime that night. Diver also told how she had gone back to Peterson’s house later, because Smith was sending suicidal text messages. It was Diver who called the police after seeing Smith cut his wrist and again when she saw smoke coming out of the house.

The testimony from both Diver and Peterson was sketchy, because both of them had been drinking that night: Diver in the earlier part of the evening and Peterson later on, after returning to Diver’s house to spend the night there with her children and sister. Barry used that to her advantage, asking both women if they recalled the details of the evening clearly.

“No,” was the answer from both women.

Peterson was silent for a long time when Pertler asked her what she saw when her cousin brought her back to her house after calling the police and firefighters to the scene.

“There was lots of flames,” she said through tears. “And fire trucks.”

Cloquet Police Officer Carey Ferrell was among those to take the witness stand on Wednesday and during his testimony Pertler showed the jury the video taken of the incident from the dashboard camera of Farrell’s squad car.

Following the video, Smith remained very still and sat with his head down.

Ferrell was one of the first to report to the scene and enter the burning building in an attempt to extricate Smith. He testified he could hear Smith inside screaming, and when he attempted to get him out, he was successful in removing the knife from his hand but he was unable to get him out because Smith was covered with blood and resisting extrication.

Cloquet Area Fire District Battalion Chief Steve Kolodge also took the witness stand, saying that when he arrived at the scene of the fire, law enforcement personnel were at the front door trying to get Smith to come out but were unable to do so. He testified that Capt. Scott Castleman, also of the CAFD, then entered the house with a taser alongside Ferrell and the two were successful in getting Smith out.

In an effort to pinpoint the two bedrooms where the fire was allegedly set, Pertler also questioned Kolodge at length regarding the areas of the house that sustained the most direct fire damage and showed jury members photos of the “alligator” effect that results in areas where the flames burn directly through to the wooden structure.

Barry later cross examined Kolodge, asking about a routine questionnaire he filled out directly after the incident where he indicated he was not aware if there were multiple points of origin for the fire or if there was any obvious area where the fire started.

Kolodge replied that his primary responsibility is to monitor the scene and deal with “fire stuff” and his role is not to make any determinations beyond that.

Witnesses scheduled for later in the day included Jason Maki, fire investigator for the CAFD, and State Fire Marshall Mark Tremaine who investigated the scene. Slated to appear Thursday morning was computer forensics specialist Derek Randall of the Cloquet Police Department. The case was expected to go to the jury later that same day.

Watch for updates on the jury’s verdict as well as a

segment of the police video taken at the scene at www.pinejournal.com.

Tags:
news, crime

Meet Natalie Sperling

Meet Natalie Sperling

What you might see as a piece of cutlery, Natalie Sperling sees as a piece of art.

For the past two years, the multimedia artist has been crafting jewelry out of spoons to sell at Slim Goodie Boutique and Arena’s Florist, both in the city.

Sperling, 28, who also works as a server at Dinosaur Bar-B-Que, is currently working on a website and an online retail shop at www.etsy.com to sell her jewelry line, called njspoons.

And when she’s not slinging barbecue or making jewelry, Sperling keeps busy by painting. Her focus is on decorative and abstract painting using a variety of media.

The self-described “media schizophrenic” has been known to incorporate “hand-cut stencil work, patterns, lots and lots of color, and objective images juxtaposed with — or hidden within — subjective images.”

Shengulette is a Rochester freelancer writer.

Amenities travellers wish still existed

Do you miss the classic hotel room key? (Shutterstock)

With drastic changes in security measures, a failing world economy, and the explosion of the Internet, little about travel is the same as it was just a few short years ago. With this in mind we asked the members and editors of VirtualTourist.com what they missed most about travel. We were very surprised by what took the top spot.

1. SILVERWARE

Even if it’s just for a meal or two, non-plastic cutlery tops the list of amenities experienced travellers pine for. Yes, the odd “real” fork and knife will pop up on a flight, but not frequently enough for our experts. Most who missed proper cutlery also lamented the absence of real glasses from flights as well.

2. REAL PLANE TICKETS

Having your phone scanned in lieu of handing over a three-sheet paper ticket with all kinds of tear-off components may be convenient, but it doesn’t make for a very interesting scrapbook page. Travellers miss not only the ticket but also the big plastic jacket full of documents and itineraries in which it would arrive.

3. COURIER FLIGHTS

These insider flights offered travellers willing to give up their baggage allowance a super-cheap way of taking some very expensive trips. Security issues and the proliferation of bargain travel sites have more or less killed this once-mysterious industry.

4. POSTE RESTANTE

Back in the world’s pre-Internet days, when people actually corresponded by mail, a poste restante counter gave travellers a regular spot at which to pick up letters and packages. They can still be found, but these days, few travellers are even aware of their existence.

5. PASSPORT STAMPS

Europeans who collect passport stamps the way Girl Scouts collect badges have had a hard time of late. Thanks to the development of the EU, many Europeans are now denied stamps when entering into many member countries, a circumstance that leads to much pleading at border crossings.

6. COUNTRY-SPECIFIC CURRENCIES

Following on the previous idea, it was a sad (and somewhat confusing) day for many when the euro became the standard currency for much of the EU. Yes, it makes money exchange for those visiting multiple European countries easier, but nothing can replace the satisfaction of handing over 4,000 lire for a cup of coffee.

7. HOTEL KEYS

While some argued that the credit card keys most hotels now offer are infinitely more convenient than an actual key, some still yearned for the weight and feel of the real thing.

8. FREE BAG CHECK

In the “You Don’t Know What You’ve Got ’til It’s Gone” category, over-packers in particular really, really miss this one. Take more than just a carry-on or come back with a bulging suitcase these days and you could be looking at huge fees.

9. NON-RESERVED EUROPEAN TRAIN TRAVEL

Although it’s not always necessary to have reservations on European trains these days, for those who remember a time when you could easily wait until getting to the train station to decide what country in which to spend the day, it might as well be. Unfortunately this development also meant the loss of being able to impulsively use trains as places to spend the night.

10. FREE WINE AND BEER ON FLIGHTS

There are still some holdouts on this perk, but generally speaking, if you’re in economy and/or taking a domestic flight, you’re probably not getting free booze. While it used to be a given, most in-flight wine tasting done by passengers these days comes at a price.

(c) 2011 VirtualTourist.com, Distributed by Tribune Media Services Inc.

Police arrest man with hidden knives

Posted: 12:00 AM

Police arrest man with hidden knives

By Scott Monroe smonroe@mainetoday.com
Staff Writer

WATERVILLE — It was shortly after 1 a.m. Friday when the man rapped on the door to an apartment building, masking a 6-inch knife in his shirt sleeve.

A resident looked out to see who was banging on the door in the middle of the night and didn’t recognize him.

Waterville police were called and three officers arrived at the Western Avenue building, where they would arrest 20-year-old Ricky Munster on charges of concealing a dangerous weapon and violating conditions of release.

Waterville police aren’t sure why Munster was at the Western Avenue building early Friday morning, according to Deputy Chief Charles Rumsey. Munster claimed he was there to visit a friend, but no one who lived there knew him, Rumsey said.

“We’re comfortable that he wasn’t honest about the reason he was there, that he didn’t belong there,” Rumsey said.

Police were familiar with Munster. Tuesday night, shortly after 10 p.m., he was reported to be walking in the middle of the road, on Temple Street. Munster was warned by police not to do that, Rumsey said.

A half-hour later, Munster was walking down the middle of the one-way Front Street and vehicles had to swerve around him, Rumsey said.

Munster, who police said was intoxicated at the time, refused to stop walking in the middle of the road when confronted by officer Brian Gardiner, according to Rumsey. Gardiner pepper-sprayed and tackled Munster to the ground in order to arrest him.

“He told us he wanted to prove how tough he was,” Rumsey explained.

Gardiner also found Munster carrying a glass pipe with marijuana residue, plus a folding knife with its blade open, in his coat pocket.

Munster, who said his address is 1206 Cross Hill Road, Vassalboro, was arrested on charges of obstructing a public way and refusing to submit to arrest, and he was summonsed on a charge of sale and use of drug paraphernalia.

He was taken to the Kennebec County Jail in Augusta and later posted $50 bail and was released on several conditions, including not getting involved in criminal activity.

At 1:12 a.m. Friday, a caller reported a man who was “unknown to the residents” trying to enter an apartment building on Western Avenue, Rumsey said. Officer Andrew McMullen and two other officers arrived and found Munster acting suspiciously, he said.

“He had his hands in his pockets and one of the officers noticed an empty knife sheath on his belt, and then an officer saw a flash of a metallic object,” Rumsey said.

The officers searched him and found a knife with a 6-inch blade that had been slid up his shirt sleeve and was pointing downward, Rumsey said. They also found him carrying an additional five folding knives in his pockets. Munster, who this time provided an address of 28 Oak St., Waterville, submitted to arrest this time without resisting.

Munster was again taken to the county jail, where he remained Friday afternoon.

A jail official said Munster had already been sentenced in connection with the charges to serve 24 hours and pay a $610 fine.

Scott Monroe — 861-9239

smonroe@centralmaine.com

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Report: UI Investigated Professor for Child Porn

IOWA CITY, Iowa (AP) — A University of Iowa researcher who faked his own stabbing in Chicago last year was under investigation by campus police for child pornography at the time, according to a police report made public Friday.

The University of Iowa has refused to release details about its investigation of Dr. Gary Hunninghake, who has been on leave for 10 months earning his $360,000 annual salary. But The Daily Iowan newspaper obtained a report from Chicago police and reported Friday that UI police closed their investigation of whether Hunninghake violated child pornography laws last year without charges being filed.

The Associated Press later obtained a copy of the report, which sheds light on a case that both Hunninghake and the university have tried for months to keep quiet.

Hunninghake, 64, the former director of the UI Institute for Clinical and Translational Science, has filed a lawsuit to block the release of information about the pornography investigation, arguing that its publication would destroy his reputation as an educator and scientist. An assistant state attorney general representing the university indicated last month the school wouldn’t fight Hunninghake’s petition, saying he may have grounds to shield the records being sought by the news media. A hearing is set for April 1.

Hunninghake’s world began to crash around him last April. On April 23, police officers investigating child pornography allegations served search warrants at his university office and Coralville home. His wife called Hunninghake to tell him about the warrants, and he was placed on paid leave that day, the police report said.

Less than 24 hours later, Hunninghake was supposed to be attending a conference in Chicago when he showed up at an emergency room with stab wounds to his chest, abdomen and shoulder. He told authorities he had been robbed and stabbed by three white assailants while jogging in downtown Chicago, a claim that prompted a manhunt, generated intense media coverage and scared the public.

UI Associate Director of Public Safety Bill Searls alerted Chicago investigators on April 26 about the child pornography investigation, saying he questioned the validity of the stabbing report given its timing after the search warrants were served. Hunninghake had told UI Police detectives about the incident, and his story to them contained “numerous and blatant inconsistencies” with what he told Chicago police, the report said.

Confronted with those contradictions, Hunninghake told a Chicago detective he had made up the story and stabbed himself with a steak knife he had purchased as part of a set and threw in the river, the report said. Asked whether he was trying to kill himself or gain sympathy, Hunninghake told police “he was not sure what he was trying to (do) and explained that he was in a strange state of mind when he did this.”

The report does not elaborate on what sparked the pornography investigation or include any other details about it.

Hunninghake was charged with making a false police report, a felony, and agreed to turn himself in. Under a plea agreement in January, he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct and was sentenced to probation and 40 hours of community service and ordered to pay $15,565 to reimburse authorities for their search for the fictional assailants.

The institute Hunninghake once headed has hired an interim director. UI Vice President for Medical Affairs Jean Robillard said in an interview last month he didn’t know whether Hunninghake would ever return to work and his case was being handled by the provost’s office. Hunninghake has been at UI since 1981 and has researched asthma and lung disease, among other topics.

Hunninghake’s case and that of another professor — Toshiki Itoh, who was convicted of assaulting a female laboratory assistant last year — have sparked criticism from some Republican lawmakers that the university’s paid leave policies are too generous. Hunninghake has collected $300,000 while on leave. Itoh resigned Wednesday after being on leave since July 2008 and collecting more than $200,000 in salary while he was being prosecuted.

UI spokesman Tom Moore said first that the university was in the process of taking disciplinary action against Hunninghake, but added that Hunninghake remained a salaried university employee. Moore noted that, in general, faculty members accused of violating school policy have a right to a hearing before a panel of their colleagues before any action is taken.

Hunninghake and his attorney, Leon Spies, did not immediately return messages Friday.

Nifty scanner eases farewell to paper

NEW YORK (AP) — Here’s where the iPad has gotten me: I’m
sitting with an old book in one hand and a utility knife in the
other. My plan is to make the two meet, by cutting up the book and
feeding the pages through a scanner.

The printed word has been shackled too long to paper, and I want
to carry it around on my iPad tablet computer.

Cutting a book is hard, though. There’s a mental block to
overcome. After a lifetime of valuing books, I find it difficult to
destroy one, even to preserve it in digital form — particularly if
it’s a hardback.

The iPad, as a fantastic replacement for paper, deserves only
half the blame for putting me in this position. The other half goes
to the Fujitsu ScanSnap s1500.

As I started thinking about scanning my documents and “going
paperless,” I thought about the ideal scanner: It should take a
pile of papers and scan both side of each sheet, so I don’t have to
feed them one by one.

It turns out that there aren’t many affordable, consumer-level
scanners like that. But all we need is one good device, and the
ScanSnap is it. If you can swallow the $430 price tag, it’s ideal.
It goes through paper like a bonfire.

The ScanSnap is designed from the ground up to turn stacks of
pulp to bytes. It doesn’t have the large glass bed of the
conventional scanner or copy machine. Instead, it looks like a
small inkjet printer, taking up only a bit more desk space than a
lunch box. It has a 50-sheet holder and feeds each sheet between
rollers while scanning both sides at the same time through two thin
strips of glass.

It takes just 3 seconds for the ScanSnap to scan a sheet at a
decent resolution. That compares with 30 seconds for the two other
sheet-fed, double-sided (or duplex) scanners I tried, the $140
Canon Pixma MX870 and the $270 HP ScanJet 5590.

The quality of ScanSnap’s output is good, too. The other
scanners had problems with pulling the paper at an even pace past
the scanning slit. That resulted in letters that were either
stretched out — too tall — or squished. That “funhouse effect”
was nearly absent on the ScanSnap. It was also better at pulling
the paper straight across the slit, avoiding skewed lines.

What if you forget to take out the staples from your tax return
before stuffing it in the scanner? No problem! The ScanSnap is
smart enough to figure out if two sheets are sticking together, and
it will stop so you can fix the problem. Return the sheets to the
feeder, hit a button and scanning resumes.

So what’s the point of scanning your documents? Well, it’s an
easy way to organize everything. Like most scanners, the ScanSnap
comes with software that “reads” the scans, making them searchable.
Scanning also makes it easy to send documents around — if your
mortgage broker needs your utility bill, it’s easier to scan and
e-mail it than to fax it. And obviously, scans take less space than
binders full of documents.

Because the ScanSnap is so fast, it’s tempting to scan books as
well. You could carry a couple of bookshelves worth of scanned
books on the iPad.

Copyright law gets in the way of that vision, though. You don’t
have a blanket right to scan your books. This probably comes as a
surprise to people who have been “ripping” their CDs for a decade.
The music industry doesn’t challenge this practice, but that
doesn’t mean it’s legal, strictly speaking.

Although copyright law is complicated, one thing is clear: Books
published in the U.S. before 1923 are fair game. I bought a
collection of fairy tales from 1913, and after steeling myself, cut
the pages from the spine. It helped my conscience that the binding
was already in poor condition. It took 10 minutes for the ScanSnap
to turn it into a lovely PDF file, with the color illustrations
intact. I loaded the file into the GoodReader app on the iPad, and
it looked glorious.

One odd thing that needs mentioning is that the ScanSnap comes
in two versions, for Windows and Mac. The printers are identical.
Only the bundled versions of the PDF-editing software, Adobe
Acrobat, are specific to Windows or Mac. However, the basic
software that comes with each printer works on Windows and Mac, and
that is sufficient to create PDFs. So one scanner will work OK even
if you have both Windows and Mac computers in the house.

Secondly, the ScanSnap isn’t quite a replacement for a good
flatbed scanner if you want to scan photos. It’s optimized for
speed, not photo reproduction.

The Pixma and the ScanJet aren’t necessarily bad products. They
simply lack the ScanSnap’s focus on scanning stacks of paper. Both
have flatbeds for careful photo scanning, and the Pixma works as a
color inkjet printer and a fax machine. They’re also cheaper than
the ScanSnap, but if you have a lot to scan, it’s the one that’s a
bargain.

Kitchen accessories save the day

By Karen Turner

Postmedia News

From a jumbled pantry and cluttered cutlery drawer to an extra-deep cupboard that has to be emptied every time you need to reach a pot lid or can of soup at the back, kitchens can be one of the most dysfunctional rooms in the house.

But improving the efficiency of the space doesn’t have to cost big dollars, says Adam Mugford, assistant manager of Solutions, Your Organized Living Store in Ottawa.

“For $20, you can do a lot . . . by adding non-permanent fixtures,” says Mugford, who insists “simplest is always the best.”

From slide-out shelves and stackable bins to compact spice racks and handy drawer dividers, there’s a plethora of inexpensive add-ons to conquer kitchen clutter and make the best use of your storage and counter space, he says.

We went shopping for affordable, smart solutions to boost the function of the kitchen and found these 13 for under $100.

On the hook: Short on storage space? Hang cooking utensils and pot holders close to the stove with the GRUNDTAL wall organizer from IKEA. $9.99 for the stainless-steel rail; $2.99 for a pack of five S-hooks

Wheel into action: Vibrant and functional, steel mesh baskets on wheels can be used to store everything from loose potatoes and onions to cleaning supplies and extra boxes of cereal and crackers. $9.99 each at HomeSense

Pop goes the strainer: Stainless or hard plastic colanders are space hogs. Collapsible silicone strainers from Good Grips store flat so they can be hung on the inside of a cupboard door without taking up much space. $24.99 each at Home Outfitters

Made to fit: Tired of throwing out half-empty bags of chips and cookies because they’ve gone stale before you could eat them? Keep dried goods fresh and organized with the new Modular Canisters from Rubbermaid. Available in four sizes, the slim containers stack evenly and one lid size fits all. $4.49 to $9.79 each at Loblaws, Walmart and Home Hardware

Off the wall: No need to monopolize premium counter space with a bulky knife block. Instead, hang your favourite cutting tools on the wall with the GRUNDTAL magnetic knife rack ($ 14.99) from IKEA.

Roll on out: No more getting down on your hands and knees to reach something at the back of a cabinet with the Knape Vogt double-tiered wire rollout shelf unit. $99.99 at Home Depot

Divide and conquer: Tame the mess in your cutlery drawer with the Bamboo Expandable Utensil Tray from Axis. Adjusts to fit most kitchen drawers. $34.99 at Home Outfitters

All in one: Maximize cupboard space with the eight-piece round glass storage set from Anchor Hocking. The fridge-to-oven bakeware nest together for compact storage. $21.99 at Canadian Tire

Stack and spin: Ideal for spices, canned goods or glassware, the Copco Turntable boosts storage space in hard-to-reach cabinets. $11.99 to $19.99 at Bed, Bath and Beyond

Knives, drug paraphernalia found in cars at Wren High

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Three Wren High School students could be recommended for expulsion after a routine drug dog check found knives and drug paraphernalia in some vehicles at the school Thursday, authorities said.

David Havird, associate superintendent for Anderson District 1, said three cars were found to have knives and two of them also had drug paraphernalia or residue.

Havird said nothing was found inside the school or on the students. He said all of it was in vehicles in the parking lot.

“We have monthly drug dog checks at the various high schools and middle schools,” he said. “They continue to come because we think that’s a very important measure.”

Havird said they do the drug dog checks because of their “emphasis on safety and security.”

He said he thinks there will likely be three students, who were not identified, recommended for expulsion. The students are currently suspended, he said.

Detective C. Chad McBride with the Anderson County Sheriff’s Office said there were no arrests. He said the Sheriff’s office didn’t get involved and the school district is handling the issue.

Taping drywall is not as easy as it looks on do-it-yourself shows

A. Let me first say that you could ask these questions to 10 professional drywall finishers and probably get 10 different answers. What’s more, entire books have been written about the topic, perhaps the best being the “Gypsum Construction Handbook,” published by the experts on the topic, the USG Corp

In my opinion, taping drywall is much harder than it looks on the shows you watched. I’ve done video work for years and can tell you that a talented videographer and editor in postproduction can make the toughest jobs look like a cakewalk. What the camera can’t communicate is the muscle control you must exhibit to get the drywall tools to produce professional results.

I had an employee who worked for me for years but was never able to master the art and craft of drywall taping. His results were sloppy, and he’d either leave too much joint compound under the tape or he’d press too much out, allowing blisters to form when subsequent coats of compound were applied. No matter how much training I offered, the results were dismal. I’m convinced the failure was part lack of desire and part a severe shortage of hand-eye coordination.

Here are a few of the most common mistakes I see rookie drywall finishers make. The first is using the joint compound straight out of the box or bucket without mixing it with a small amount of water. The joint compound, or mud as it’s called by the pros, must be smooth and have the consistency of warm cake icing. If you tilt the mud pan, it will flow slowly in this plastic state. Avoid adding too much water as it will dilute the adhesive that’s in the joint compound.

Remember, joint compound is basically glue and dust. I say this because the compound is designed to stick to the drywall paper and it’s made from very finely ground ingredients that turn to dust as you sand them. But make no mistake: Top-quality joint compounds are made to exacting standards.

Another common mistake is not keeping the precise amount of material between the tape and the drywall. I say this because you might wish to use the traditional paper tape in lieu of the self-adhesive mesh tapes. Many a debate has raged between professional drywall finishers about which tape is better, mesh or paper. I happen to use the traditional paper tape and have never had an issue with it.

To get a feel of how small the margin of error is when taping drywall, take a straight-edge or a broad knife and place it across the tapered edges of two pieces of drywall. Note that the gap is no more than 1/8 inch. This means you need no more than a 1/16-inch layer of mud under the tape. This leaves you with a thin coating of mud the same thickness to cover and hide the tape on your second application of joint compound.

It should be obvious that the consistency of the mud must be very plastic if you want to achieve this result. One trick is to be sure that the mud you apply to the seam is no thicker than1/8 inch before embedding the tape. Be sure the mud is even, smooth and without lumps or voids. Embed the tape and run your taping knife across it smoothly with even pressure to press out the excess mud, making sure you leave the proper amount.

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Take Back the Knife: "Drive Angry" and five other Amber Heard films of note

Then there’s Amber Heard, who more than holds her own with Cage, doing her fair share of shooting, punching, swearing, and driving. Though she’s no stranger to genre films, in horror she’s generally been relegated to the “hot girlfriend” role or the “hot, demure main character.” She’s never before played a part that’s so brash and profane. In Drive Angry, she’s the sidekick and equal partner to the antihero … err, the hot sidekick and equal partner, obviously. Fans who have lamented the fact that she hasn’t been given a chance to step out of the background and into the spotlight should well be pleased by Heard’s turn as Piper, a charmer who can and undoubtedly would beat the crap out of you.

Have I mentioned that I loved this movie?

As for Heard’s checkered past in the horror genre (of course, by “checkered” I mean “I liked some of these movies and I thought some of them stunk”), let’s take a look. I know you don’t have anything better to do!

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)

I know. You American-types are all “Wha? All the boys love who now?” because, as many a horror fan has cried out to the heavens: Where the hell is All the Boys Love Mandy Lane? It’s out in the rest of the world. If you’ve got a region-free DVD player, you can head to AmazonNotInUSA and nab yourself a copy of one of the best slasher movies of the modern era.

If you’re waiting for it to be released on our shores, though, you may be waiting a long time as it’s been trapped in Distribution Hell for nearly half a decade now. It’s certainly worth the hassle of tracking it down though. Heard stars as Mandy Lane, a not particularly remarkable girl who becomes the center of attention when she returns from summer break as a total hottie. Suddenly everyone is interested in her: boys want to get into her virginal pants, girls want to be her friend, and at a weekend getaway, someone proves they’ll kill just to be close to her. Is it … YOU? I hope not. Killing is wrong, you know.

Zombieland (2009)

It makes sense that if someone is an attractive person, they’ll likely make an attractive zombie … at least initially. I mean, time does things to a dead body, and even the biggest babe will turn grossest undead within a few days. Fortunately for the eyeballs of the world, Zombie Amber Heard is one of the fresh walking dead in Zombieland (her zombie is a babe zombie) and thus makes a memorable small role even memorabler. I made that word up, but feel free to use it in a sentence. In related news, “Zombie Amber Heard” is a pretty good band name.

The Stepfather (2009)

I’ve recounted the sordid tale of The Stepfather before, but if you’re all “I didn’t read it and I ain’t clicking to read it now” about it, allow me to recap: The Stepfather is terrible. Heard is horrendously underused as Kelly, the token girlfriend who spends virtually every minute of her screen time in a bikini or her underwear. I realize that this notion is in direct contradiction with the word “terrible,” but there are limits to what one should be made to suffer through. Trust me, The Stepfather is pure sufferdom. (You can use that word in a sentence, too.)

And Soon the Darkness (2010)

Heard not only stars as Stephanie, she also co-produced this remake of the 1970 British film of the same name. Along with her pal Ellie (Odette Yustman), Stephanie takes a bike trip in Argentina and finds herself on the wrong end of the … the … well, let’s just say that some really bad stuff happens.

Though more thriller than straight-up horror, And Soon the Darkness fits snugly into that little post-9/11 sub-genre of xenophobic horror films, like Turistas and Hostel. The formula is basically: Americans go to a foreign country for party time, act a fool, and get in terrible situations because foreign countries are scary. Still, it’s a solid way to spend 90 minutes … even if it did make me feel old by forcing me to say “Those girls are sunbathing without sunscreen! They’re going to get a sunburn!” And yes, that means that Yustman and Heard both spend time in bikinis.

The Ward (2010)

I find myself greatly anticipating The Ward, which was tepidly received at last year’s Toronto Film Festival and will soon be making its way into the US. Why am I looking forward to it though the early buzz says “meh”? It’s directed by John Carpenter, that’s why, and even his worst is better than most everything else on the horror shelf at your local video store (do they still have those?). Additionally, while the movie may not be changing the world, the buzz about Amber Heard’s performance as Kristen (and that of her co-star Mamie Gummer) is that it’s quite good and finally proves that she should be given more to do than simply stand around and be hot. Mind you, Kristen is an patient at an asylum populated with an assortment of hot-yet-mentally unstable girls, but still. We’re making progress here, people!

In addition to writing and directing horror films, Stacie Ponder writes about them for Rue Morgue Magazine, AMC TV.com, and her own beloved site, Final Girl. In her spare time, Stacie enjoys a good laugh and looking at kittens.

And good news, Ponder fans! Stacie’s feature horror film Ludlow is now available on DVD. Click
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